:: Juz Shut Up. Shut Up. Shut Up. ::

2008-02-14T20:42:00.004+08:00

CHANGE

Ain't it funny how you think you're gonna be okay,
till you remember things ain't never gonna be the same again.
Ain't it crazy how you think you've got your whole life planned,
just to find that it was never ever in your hand.

today was supposed to be a great day, at least a smooth-riding day.
today was a bad day instead.

ARGH i am losing my mind. everything is piling up on me, and it's getting heavier. 10 essays within a month, march common test (which the teacher kindly named it as 'progress check test' to make it sound nicer), maths test, cca stuffs, and so many more other things, not to mention those terrible incorrigible incidents that happen today. i just can't believe how useless i can be, the extent of useless-ness is like incomparable and inmeasurable. only the tough can survive the burden, the weak totally get crushed underneath.
A human body contains good genes, the difference is the percentage. and i believe mine is called zero percent, simple as that.

yes yes an emo post, and i know you had enough of it. you can press that red button on the top right hand corner right now, i wont stop you.
stop saying 'sunthai, can you stop posting emo post' or whatever, this blog belongs to me, and i am not forcing you to read, so if you don't like the content, feel free to go away. if you don't feel like commenting on my tagboard, then don't. nobody forcing you or anything. maybe i should remove my tagboard too so no one will comment anything at all.
you want something that is not emo?

life's fun, life's great, life's everything, and i love my life!(:

there you have it, a sentence that shows no traces of emo, just pure happiness. you want something happy in my blog, then FEED ON THIS.
you and i know that that sentence sounds frinkingly fake if i'm the one saying it. so what's the point of blogging if all i'm posting is unreal stuffs about myself? this is my blog, and i want to express my true feelings through it, and the truth is i am unhappy, so accept it. if you want a lovey, goody, happy, smily blog, you can just exit this blog and go search google. don't bother reading my blog.
just for your reassurance, i'll recover no matter what, the only things that matter is how long i take to recover, and how long before i'm back into this whirlpool once again. i can only say, the frequency of it happening is increasing, rapidly.

i am now in a terrible mood. i feel like going to the beach and scream to the sea, or maybe jump into it. ARGH i am really losing my mind.
and i know that things are just going to get worse from today onwards. if i can't even survive what you call the tip of the iceberg, i might as well be gone.
ARGH i am totolly disgusted, my valentine is screwed up.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY PICK YEE!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY WYNNE!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SZEYAN!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY RACHELINE!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY JUNJIE!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY GUANJIE!

you disappointed me once again, and i've decided
this is near the end.

2008-01-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

Mr.CRAP
and everything's BAD.

don't ask me why, but some small incidents that happen these few days affected me so much.
i think i am such a bad person, like literally.
and bad is just an understatement.
i am a bad, possessive, selfish, self-centred, stupid, undetermined, weak, irresponsible, stingy blah blah blah and etc person. oh come on, throw in all those negative phrases, adjectives, nouns or whatever, i'm sure they are made to suit me somehow.
if all the 'feeble-minded' person are to be exterminated instead of sterilized, i will be the first in the queue. in fact, i shall volunteer to be the first.
GREAT, as if life sucks isn't enough to turn me off, i have to suck too.

i told myself to stand up for myself. i thought i was making a right decision, at least a decision that i made for myself without the influence of others. but why do i feel so bad and guilty right now? did i make a wrong decision, or are others' opinion making an impact on me? i hate the fact how a slight remark or opinion would make me embark of journey of self-doubt, i mean i did try to not dwell about those comments, but still they just keep lingering in my mind. should i just ignore them or believe in myself? and how do i gauge the credibility of those remarks, whether it's true or false.
just listening and thinking of those comments make me feel like an unworthy person.
and of course, there're other incidents that i personally think that i'm a devil.
i am not a good friend, i am not a good person, i am not a human being.

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
and the weak get vanquished.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY XINYI!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JUNJIN!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ANGELINE!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY WEESHAN!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY ZHENGYU!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY ZIPING!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY EDNA!

oh and FRIENDSHIP DAY and CHINESE NEW YEAR are coming!

OUR NEW CLASS TEE!

GUZHENG CONCERT!

HMM~
i've got nothing to say anymore.
but the good new is, i've stop dwelling about you anymore.
you shall sit silently in my heart(:

2008-01-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

DEATH

i knew it, i just knew it.
a new year doesn't mean anything to me, just another repeat of twenty-oh-seven. just another year of torture, another year of bumpy ride.
the only difference is that it brings me closer to the nightmares.

just the first two weeks, and it's already killing me. and let's not mention there's even more weeks to go through before i officially reach my nightmares.
i admit, the amount of people above me totals to almost infinity.
and how sometimes just a simple sentence, can literally kill your heart.
sadly, i can't find the reasons anymore, i can't find the strength.

in a shop full of branded and expensive bags, a torn and tattered bag without a price tag.
the journey through the darkness, and the absence of sunshine at the end of the tunnel.
the turning point of life, towards the rainbow or towards the destruction.

okayy, it's night and i'm feeling the usual, random and some indescribable feelings.

do you know,
i'm really happy for you,
but yet you hurt me again.

2008-01-07T23:02:00.000+08:00

REPEAT

first post of twenty-oh-eight! *claps*
and guess what? seven days since new year had passed. like i had already spent 7days of my twenty-oh-eight life. okay time flies like damn fast.
okay i'm freaking out again. ARGH

orientation night was the blast, better than last year orientation 2 night :X ! hahas and i really think og13 is so enthusiastic can, all of them so cute, and yes i know, i know, liangyu khangleng and julie are so excited about something. faints.
and i didn't realise that the og was like so big, but yet they are still very bonded, which is nice lah(: and that really sparked my wish of wanting to be an ogl! argh, i was originally on the way of being the ogl (of og13 somemore can) and some stupid discipline records and master had to get in the way. ARGH one of the many reason why tjc sucks. BOO~
but i'm glad i crashed orientation night, hahs even though i'm not an ogl! yeah the night was great and really make me what to do something...
i want to go clubbing when i turn 18 :D yeah, somewhere decent of course! call me along~

ok back to reality, i still have loads of holiday homeworks and tutorials hanging somewhere. the feeling is coming back yet again):
ARGH and there's something that kept bugging me. it's time i stand up for myself, and i shall speak this time! i don't want to spent the next 4-5months in misery and embarrassment, i shall do what i feel is the best for me!
hahas thanks for the advice zhaopei! yes you are so UGH-so-important!! :D you shall takecare and have fun too ok! miss you.

i shall learn to smile, i hope.
by remembering you, i will smile(:
takecare!

2007-12-31T19:29:00.000+08:00

THE KEY TO MY HEART

i was planning to spend my new year's eve by gaming the midnight away, but after reading pearlyn's blog, i decided to have the last post of twenty-oh-seven, and of course finally post all the photos of the last one month!
i actually wanted to blog last night after the meaningful talk with zhaopei, and yes it was going to be an emo post, but i guess i was too lazy. so i shall blog today instead, and yes to warn you, there will be abit of emo content below, and if you're those kind of people who roll eyes at emo posts and say 'wth, again', then please kindly click on the hot sexy red button on the top right hand corner of your computer screen, the MOST top right hand corner.

ok i know the previous sentence sounds very 'attitude', but what the heck, i really need to do my so-called reflection on new year's eve, so just look at those photos and ignore my post. ( i know i just have a christmas's eve reflection around a week ago, but it doesn't hurt to have more than one reflection per month)

especially when it's night time and it's right after a meaningful 'lock and key' talk with zhaopei.

*look at the time* okay just four more hours to a brand new year!
WOO~ a brand new year, like can you believe it, one year since graduation from secondary school had passed.
so tomorrow when i wake up, it will be twenty-oh-EIGHT, no longer seven! eh okay, i admit i'm slow, that reality is slowly sinking into my head.

a harsh year, but i managed to crawl through. lots and lots of incidents, allowed a better understanding of myself. i'm not a strong person, a strong-willed person, and definitely not a person with strong determination. and i am too tired to change anything. the good new is, i am beginning to see open(kan4 kai1), so yeah, if life sucks, then so be it.
i took the advice that liangyu told me, yeah and try to think on a brighter side, but things didn't really turn out fine eventually, but still i will be okay. although it will take a long time for me to say life's great, i wont say life sucks forever.
i shall not control the flow, i shall go along with the current. i shall live the life that i want and i'm happy with the most. and if in the end everything still become screwed up, then so be it. i can't do anything, since i don't believe i write my own life:X

so for the brand new twenty-oh-eight, it's still the same old wish which still isn't fulfilled, a strong determination, and that my life will become a smoother journey gradually(:

oh well, i think i shall end my emo content here, and yes if u happen to actually read until here, you can throw your hand up and shout ' yes! sunthai has stopped writing about emo stuff, no more emo thingy from here onwards, it's just photos! yes! '
and i'm just going to reply, there will not be anymore emo stuff continuing from this part of the post, but there will be emo posts from today onwards, maybe even more frequent.

yeah went out with mum to takashimaya and plaza singapura to shop with mum, and i am going say it loud, i am not going to shop at takashimaya ever again, it's so... ugh, and so beyond my taste style and most importantly, budget. (and yes xiumin, i saw nathan hartono there i think, oh aren't you jealous! hahas)
i think i'm still more into shopping places like plaza sing and marina sq. i know! i shall be the ambassador of plaza sing and marina sq:D ohmygod aren't they so going to be honoured. not only that i saw szeyan, shiyun and woonhwee at plaza sing, talking about a small world:D it's a long time since i met shiyun and szeyan! and yes shiyun&woonhwee, i am officially the ambassador of IP Zone, since i bought so many of their shirts. *open my closet* okay i think i have quite a significant amount of IP Zone shirts, in fact, too much. i am going to stop buying shirts from IP Zone.
on second thought, i think i should stop buying shirts, i've got too much of them in my closet. (wait a minute, i just bought a shirt a few hours ago! oh man!) maybe i should start clearing up my closet! for the brand new year!

oh and did i mention i'm no longer obsessed with Samuel & Kevin(S&K) shop? since S.H.E is no longer the official ambassador of S&K, i shall also no longer like the shop. like when you walked into the shop, you can't see S.H.E poster on the wall lehh! oh my, what a disappointment! now it became poster of typical caucasian models posing):
anyway i shall stop here/ wishing everyone a..
HAPPY NEW YEAR! smile everyone!

ADELINE&ZHAOPEI BDAE CELEBRTN(:
XINYI'S XMAS/CECILIA'S BDAE PARTY!

YINGHUI'S BDAE/XMAS CELEBRTN!

KBOX OUTING! :D

TJC BAND CONCERT

PEARLYN'S AMAZING RACE/BDAE CELEBRTN!

EUNICE&KEWEI BDAE CELEBRTN!!

at least you didn't forget me(:

well good luck to you! and remember me!

cause i will always remember you!

2007-12-24T21:29:00.001+08:00

the season of joy&laughter
a season without YOU

Falling Away - Marion Raven

He comes to me
He comes to me and I'm already gone
He doesn't see
He doesn't see that we're hanging on
Blocking out the pieces of today
Trying to get back to yesterday

We're falling away
And there's nothing left but rain
No there's nothing left here
All I hear is silence as I say
We're falling away

I go to him
I go to him and he's not really there
We can't begin
We can't begin to go anywhere
All is done, there's nothing left to say
Memories of his smile fade to grey

And how can we care
When it is so clear
That we're not ending up where we're supposed to be
Let's just forget now
Let's forget somehow
Let's not regret all the things that we used to be

My eyes still blur
My eyes still blur from refusing to see
I'm just not sure
I'm just not sure that we're meant to be

Untouched - The Veronicas

I go ooh ooh, you go ah ah
lalalalalalalala
I can lalalalalala
I wanna wanna wanna get get get what I want
Don't stop
Give me give me give me what you got got
Cause I can't wait wait wait any more more more more
Don't even talk about the consequence
Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me
And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think think
Cause you're the only one who's on my mind
I'll never ever let you leave me
I'll try to stop time for ever, never wanna hear you say goodbye (bye bye bye)

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
Need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

Untouched
And I need you so much

See you, breathe you, I want to be you
Alalalala alalalala
You can take take take take take time time
To live live the way you gotta gotta live your life
Give me give me give me all of you you
Don't be scared
I'll see you through the loneliness of one more more more
Don't even think about what's right or wrong, wrong or right
'Cause in the end it's only you and me and no one else is gonna be around
To answer all the questions left behind
And you and I are meant to be so even if the world falls down today
You've still got me to hold you up up
And I will never let you down (down)

introducing to you all two great songs(:
reflection, the christmas eve.

rough year, but i survived, and that's the good new!
this year, the beginning of the exception years.
everything is going down, down and further down. down as in you know, negatively bad. i can't think so anything that's going up, except for my weight, which i'm trying my best to at least maintain it. ARGH
self-esteem, relationships, academics and many more things.

DOWN, NEGATIVELY DOWN.

what am i as compared to others, nothing.
i'm having difficulty to find something about myself that i can say i'm proud of.
boy1 was happy as he just recieved a wooden toy train from his parents, before he knew it, boy2 took out a toy train, a remote-control metallic toy train from Toy 'R' Us.
am i aiming for too high, or am i unable to reach that height?
eh, life is an irony bahh;

have fun studying with eunice, chunkiat pearlyn and adeline today, then hanging out with the latter three at tampines mall. dear chunkiat, please do not forget the lesson on christmas spirit, it's all about giving(: i'm waiting!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
STAY HAPPY(:

it doesn't matter who you like, you may like someone else.
i like you for who you are,
not who you like.

but if you've forgotten me, i've nothing to say.

2007-12-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

my christmas wishes.YOU

these two days been pretty good(:
tiring but pleasing, aching but rewarding.

yesterday was smooth-going for my job, which was particularly good since monday was like depressing for me. but i know that with hard work, a strong belief and a habit of actually talking to myself and telling myself ' go sunthai, you can do this, you are the man. Don't give up! ', it will eventually paid off. at least i hope so.
but i was so engrossed in my work that when i went to a gift shop to buy something, i actually almost walked off without paying. like when the sale person passed me the carefully wrapped gift, i actually walked off immediately. maybe i was in my mp3 music world or i was thinking something else, but i was like so damn paiseh when the person tapped me. she actually called me, but i didn't hear clearly, so she had to tap me and say ' eh, sorry sir, the money... ', oh my god, i didn't even know where to hide my face. ARGH i was like so damn damn paiseh that i kept apologising to her. i can't believe i actually did this kind of thing, first time in my whole time!

ARGH now when i think about it, i will still be like shocked at my action. talking about paiseh-ness:X

today was fun working with eunice kuah, at least it was not that lonesome when i worked alone): anyway eunice kuah kheng kheng should be so happy over the moon to know i had fun working with her, and the conversation on the bus trip was a burden off my shoulder. i told you eunice, the last sentence on the birthday card which i gave you was true, and i believe it will sustain for a long time(: but she had to quit the job today and leave me alone because she had obtained the amount of money that she wanted( which is ALOT ), and also she wants to study for the rest of the last week. oh well, she's still as hardworking as ever.

went to yinghui's house at the evening for gathering. miss my drama people so much, they are still so crazy as ever, maybe even crazier than before.
something just never change, but i'm glad my drama people are still funky, crappy and fun-loving. i just hope the tamadecute duo don't see this, if not they will go around saying they are great, kind and everything nice-.-
and i was talking to tony on the phone in the lift and i actually walked out of the lift at the wrong storey. i stepped out of the lift at the 12th storey when i lived at the 15th storey.

man, just how blur can i get-.-
never mind, walking out of the lift at the wrong storey happens quite occasionally.

oh and i'm excited about both christmas/new year's party, just hope it will be carried out smoothly(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YINGHUI!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY CECILIA!

okay, photos and everything else about recent events will be uploaded maybe in the next post.
better go and do homeworks and script writing.
ARGH totally spoiled the mood. especially the latter, what the !@#$%^&*(

so much for forgetting about you.
my christmas wishes.
at least you're having a great life.
hope you will have a great christmas,
without me...

2007-12-08T21:58:00.000+08:00

to forget you;

No good to have lots of beautiful things.
because i'm scared to lost them.
But... i want you, i want you, i want you,
even if you love someone else.
i don't care if you don't know why the clear sky is blue,
but i want you to know why my cheeks are pink.

i believe those were in the pasts. forgetting you may be the best way to heal.
okay i need to buck up! holiday homeworks, here i come!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY Jane!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY Kang Rong!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY Eunice!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY Jenna!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY Adeline!

those memories with you,
those great yet comforting memories, thank you(:
i miss you

2007-11-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

metamorphosis

maybe what liangyu was saying is correct.
maybe what all of you had said is true.
maybe it's time for a change.

easier said to be done. oh well i will try.

POST EXAMINATION MIND CAFETJC STAR SEARCH'07
CLIQUE STEAMBOAT AT ZHENGYU'S HOUSE

LAST PE LESSON'07

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL'07

4modesty'06 NOV'07 CHALET

MIND CAFE AGAIN(:

my wish came true, even though it's for a short while.
that feeling is gradually dying, and i know it's for the best/ bahh

2007-11-10T20:36:00.000+08:00

will you continue with me?

eh, life is an irony bahh.

you know, life isn't like those childhood days, secondary school times, where you can laugh like there's no tomorrow, play like you don't care, and just enjoy the best company that your friends can bring.
nowadays, it's hard to smile, like you know, really smile due to pure happiness. when you're young and small, there's only one reason to smile, because you're happy. as time goes by, to smile is no longer to smile purely, it takes more than one reason to smile. and even so, in that smile, what you can see is not entirely happiness, but also traces of tired-ness and stress-ness. i miss those days, to smile with you all around, and just enjoy the company.

i'm doing whatever i can to get back, but sometimes it takes two hands to clap.
do you know how it feels, when you throw a ball to a person, and yet the person refuses to catch it?
do you know how it feels, when you smile at a person, and yet the person just turns away?
do you know how it feels, when you want the person to know something, and yet the person just don't get it?
i'm experiencing that kind of feeling right now. and i just hope someday, you will understand.
the feeling of holding on to the memories of others, and yet being forgotten by else.

in a lifetime, cold-hearted separations are bound to happen.
but the heart-warming reunion may not always occur.

this few day isn't very, well you know, pleasing for some reasons. something is not right, and yes i can sense it.
those moments, and the future moments i'm going to cherish it no matter what. someone once said that sentence before, and yes i'm still going to say it's inevitable. but still, even if it's going to end, i will make sure i am not the cause of it.
i cherish it more than anything in this world.
believe me. it takes two hands to clap, so i need you to believe and trust me. right now, all i can do put my faith in you all.
just don't give up on me and abandon me. i am trying my best here/

you know, once in a while, look into the dark night sky, and just think about nothing. for some reasons, you will feel calmer and peaceful-er. for me, i usually end with a prayer, and pray that everything will go well, somehow~

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ZHAOPEI!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY HUI YIN!

maybe i should just give up, since you're not getting the hint.
can't you just listen to me for once and accompany me?

2007-11-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

question the existence

time flies, and slows down at the same time.
in a blink, almost one year is gone.

i'm quite amazed that i'm still surviving. it's practically a miracle. it's like somehow, i managed to stumbled my way through, even though i don't know how i did it at all. and my speculation for the future, i'm going to continue to stumble, trip, fall all the way till don't know when. my aims, my goals, my destination, all gone. i will just go where the path leads me. i don't create the path, i don't decide the path, the path makes me, and my life.

june common tests, promo examinations, open house, relationship, love.
so many things, i don't know what to be feeling. should i be happy, or should i be sad?
i can't say i did not try my best, but i dare not say i tried my best. the problem is, i don't know where the problem lies, and let's not talk about the solution. i will just drift, where the current carries me.

ok fine you must be rolling eyes now, yes life isn't that bad, though i can't say 'life's great'. let's just say life's full of ups and downs, and my roller-coaster is going down and up and down and up and down and down and down, down, down and hardly up. i will cherish the ups, but the downs hit hard (ok i just realised the previous sentence the 'ups' and 'hard' rhymes.)

eh, life is an irony bahh.
you know, it's just like you can only pray that everything will be smooth, at least bearable, please.
yesyes i will update soon with lots of photos.

how it feels to fall in love?
i'm missing you,
and i really want to see you..

2007-09-15T19:16:00.000+08:00

CRASHED, CRUSHED, dead.

it's not just a moment of dismay, or a temporary unhappiness.
from what i can see, it's a couple more years of torture, plus a future of uncertainty & worriness.

i don't care who you like.
if i can be around you,
if i can see your smile,
if i know you're happy.

i really hope it can end peacefully, somehow.
it's hard to endure it for a moment.

2007-09-08T20:06:00.000+08:00

trip & fall

have you even get so irritated by someone, so annoyed by someone, so angry with someone, so disappointed with someone?
well, right now i am.

for goodness sake, why cant you just disappear from the surface of the earth? on second thoughts, why do you even exist in the first place?
come on, the world is a harsh place. and you will not able to survive in this harsh world. you're only a burden to this earth, so you might as well just disappear and be gone. no one is going to hold you back. please do not think so greatly about youself, you're not everything like others, you're close to nothing, or even worse than nothing.

oh please, compared to others, what are you? please, i dont see anything in you that is so special and unique. i hate to say this, but sometimes even i'm irritated by you.

damn you, i can't stand the sight of you. you should not exist in this world in the first place, so just disappear and be gone...
i'm really want to believe that it isn't true, but sometimes, it just can't be fake.

gosh i really want to smash the mirror.

2007-08-31T20:31:00.000+08:00

FATED TO FADE

everyday, a little boy went up the hill and sat beside an old tree. he spent the days enjoying the scenery around him, watching the world goes by. the old tree stood beside him quietly, accompanying the little boy. however, when winter arrived, the old tree began to shed its leaves slowly. one by one, the leaves fell to the ground. the old tree was no longer the tree that the little boy used to know. the old tree was unable to withstand the harsh winter.

silently, the little boy prayed that when spring arrived, the old tree would grew back its leaves, and be what it used to me again.
and if the old tree should ever shows signs of no returning, maybe it's time the little boy considers to plant a new tree
*laugh at myself*
damn it, i can't stand myself...

TEACHER'S DAY CELEBRATION!

ANGEL'S BIRTHDAY(:
NAPFA DAY
NATIONAL DAY'S EVE
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ANGELINA!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KHANGLENG!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY SHIYUN!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY GUOYING!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY GRACE!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY QIU JUN!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY PEARLYN!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY KE WEI!

Close your eyes, night growing
You'll recall that memory
Biting our freezing lips
We snuggle our shoulders against each other's
I hid the day when I saw you last
At the bottom of my memories
That wondeful view we saw above the lake when we were walking

Snow Kiss
I don't want to say goodbye to you like this
The feeling of wanting to see you, a scar unable to be removed
Don't erase it, don't erase it...

i dreamt of you just now,
just when i thought i will eventually forget about you...

2007-08-28T23:33:00.000+08:00

BANISHED
on the outside looking into your world.

Gotta Go My Own Way-Vanessa Anne Hudgens

I gotta say what's in my mind.
Something about us,
doesn't seem right these days.
Life keeps getting in the way.
Whenever we try,
somehow the plan is always rearranged.
It's so hard to say,
but I've gotta do what's best for me.
You'll be okay..

[chrous]
I've got to move on and be who I am.
I just don't belong here,
I hope you understand.
We might find our place in this world someday.
But at least for now,
I gotta go my own away.

Don't wanna leave it all behind.
But I get my hopes up,
and I watch them fall everytime.
Another colour turns to grey,
and it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away.
I'm leaving today 'cause I've gotta do what's best for me.
You'll be okay

[chorus]

What about us?
What about everything we've been through?
What about trust?
You know I never wanted to hurt you.
And what about me?
What am I supposed to do?
I've gotta leave but I'll miss you.

So I've got to move on and be who I am. (Why do you have to go?)
I just don't belong here,
I hope you understand. (I'm trying to understand)
We might find our place in this world someday.
But at least for now,
I wanna go my own way. (I want you to stay)

I've got to move on and be who I am. (What about us?)
I just don't belong here,
I hope you understand. (I'm trying to understand)
We might find our place in this world someday,
but at least for now,
I've gotta go my own away.
I've gotta go my own away.
I've gotta go my own away...

BANISHED from your world.
all i can do, is to remember your smile.
what used to be, is no longer there anymore.
those memories, i will cherish forever,
but i know you will be okay, without me.
you will be happier, i know it.

2007-08-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

REASONS FOR LIFE

*looking at the mirror*
A worthless piece of junk.

i'm just too tired.
apologies and thanks for everything.
it's time to live my life,
step by step.

2007-08-05T22:49:00.000+08:00

fairy tales/

*Bright sun,
this coming year i wanna sing.
All i want to do,
drink all i want, laugh all i want.

For my swaying heart,
i want it to be pounding.
Maybe that's also a paradise,
it's summer!

PEACH!
A love mark turned upside down.
Because it has an unstable point,
it flips right away.
But i'll flip it over(:

PEACH!
Let's be together after all.
We should be together,
feel better and let's enjoy this summer!

PEACH!
A love mark turned upside down.
I'll need that power,
i'll try my best,
because i'll be in love!*

fairy tales are nice, it feels great to believe in fairy tales once in a while. it's like when you are watching a drama series, and you will be going 'gosh, why are their lives so great, how are they able to do those unbelievable stuffs, and most importantly, why do they always have happy ending?'

but still,
it's those kind of feeling when you grow little wings behind your back, and you're flying higher and higher to a place where everything seems like paradise...
and some huge massive thing has to fall from the sky and slam you to the ground.

oh and that hugh massive thing is called 'reality', and mind you, it's harsh...
sometimes, i wish i was a non-living thing with no feelings, instead of a living thing with so many complicated feelings, and so many stuffs to do.

okay i better stop day-dreaming, after all, this is the real world, not some 'drama series' or 'anime' or whatever world.

before i end, Hanazakari no Kimitachi e(Hana Kimi) [japanese version] is a must-watch! hate to admit it, but it's so much more funnier and touching-er as compared to the taiwanese version. and the cast is so realistic since the drama is adapted from a popular japanese manga, so japanese manga, japanese cast will do it. HAHAS

don't mind me, i'm just CRAZY over this drama!! :D

2007-08-03T23:28:00.000+08:00

will you still remember me,
when the time comes?

yeah finally i'm blogging again!
and i know there will be some people complaining after reading this post and shouting 'the great sunthai, can you stop posting so many photos at a time!!'
on the other hand, there will be some other people going ' there he goes again, using photos to lengthen his post. tsktsk.'
whatever it is, photos make my blog more colourful(:

THE GREAT S.H.E DAY!! :D *SCREAM*

Shawn's Birthday Celebration!!

Class Photo Taking Day!

Mr Eugene's Farewell! and we say goodbye to Mr Eugene! thanks for all of your teaching(:

Blood Donation Day!

i am such a nice and kind person to donate blood. and that's my bloody red blood:D

Chung Cheng High Main Anniversary(: and i officially love/miss/heart chung cheng high main so much!! <3>

WO AI ZHONG ZHENG!

random-ness

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SHAWN!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DONSON!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY PHYLLIS
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!

i love the quiet night, where everything seems so peaceful and calm, unlike the hectic school life which is driving me crazy. i want to sit on a double-decked bus in the night and watch the sceneries passing by the window. i want to walk along clarke quay and look at the night sky, counting the number of stars above. i want to sit on a bench in orchard road at night and listen to all of my slow pop/ballad songs in my mp3, watching people rushing by. i just want to runaway.

it's a miracle that i'm still surviving, that i haven't break down seriously or do something drastic to change my fate.

i know i have mention it before, but it just seems that everyone has spread their wings and fly. i can't help but feel that way. higher and higher, further and further they go, to the place where their bright future lies. for me, to a place where they call it 'doom'.

i admired them, i'm glad for them, and i know they are happy too.

holding on, trying my best, clinging on, struggling,

i'm too tired, but i will continue.

your true self, the sentimental side.

that's what that makes you attractive.

don't ever be someone else,

be yourself, cause the real you is the best.

2007-07-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

NOT A MOMENT, BUT A LIFETIME

*Day by day, just as usual,
when i turn around that corner,
i merge into a crowd of people,
and melt away into nothing.

I lose myself completely,
and unable to find words to say.
Yet one thing, your voice,
still remains, still remains.

Everything about you, your smile, your anger,
keeps me walking on.
The cloud will disappear, if i just look ahead,
i'm sure you know what i mean,
i'm sure you know what i mean.*

i don't want myself to be the cause of it,
i don't want anyone to be the cause of it.
i will try my best, to change myself,
and become a better person, for me, and for you.

the period of my world is over,
it's your time now, and i will respect it.

2007-07-05T19:55:00.000+08:00

MOVING ON??

adeline me and zongze(: shawn chunkiat zhaopei(ugh act cute~*pukes*)
eunice guanjie shawn kewei zongze pearlyn chunkiat( THANKS!! )
my presents!! :D
me and pearlyn! chunkiat me and pearlyn(:
our LEGS! pearlyn mine and chunkiat LOL chunkiat me eunice and pearlyn:D

THANKS to jane, jenna, eunice, chunkiat, soonyang, shawn, zhaopei, adeline, liangyu, pearlyn, sheery, kenneth, wanting, edna, zongze, zhengyu, woonhwee, mingsheng, godfrey, hweekee, qiujun, qianni, yinghui, cecilia, tony, xinyi, zhiyu for those birthday wishes(:

THANKS to jane tan mei wei for the chihua soft toy. LOVE IT!!

THANKS to chunkiat, pearlyn and eunice for the box, 'whatever' keychain, 'birthday bear', 'cute toys' collection!!

THANKS to zhaopei for the swiss army knife!

THANKS to shawn & zongze for the S&K shirt!

THANKS to adeline for the swiss army shower cream!

THANKS to kewei for the adorable horse and peppermint keychain!

THANKS to wing yee for the shirt from hongkong!

THANKS to woonhwee, adeline, zhaopei, xiumin, shawn, zongze, eunice, pearlyn, chunkiat for those self-written postcards/birthday cards!

THANKS to guanjie, kewei, woonhwee, shiyun, xiumin, zongze for the delicious chocolate cake!

THANKS to chunkiat, shawn, zongze, zhaopei, adeline, guanjie, kewei, woonhwee, xiumin, pearlyn, eunice for celebrating with me:D

most importantly, THANKS to everyone who have made my day special one way or another!(:

really, i can't say THANKS enough to all of you! xie xie!!

ps: i hope i didn't miss out anyone, if i did please tell me!!

oh well term 3 started, a new semester began.

for me, a nightmare.

i wish we could go back you know! but i guess it's impossible, & we have to deal with current situation?

i know you really haven't let go of the past... but well we all should move on yea?

as much as everyone would wanna turn back the clock and relieve those good old days again, however reality doesn't permit us to do so.

sometimes keep holding on might not be the best way, moving on is.

on monday night, i read all those cards again. i refused to sleep. i don't want the night to pass on too quickly. i don't want to go to school.

how am i suppose to move on when the path in front of me is full of trees with bare branches and only barren land around and not a single sight of living souls or lush greenery?

life is like a competition. right now everyone is running past me, while i am struggling to walk to my unknown destination. the smiles on their faces, the confidence they have, the courage they possess, i envy them. i tried to run and catch up, but there's no motivation for me. i don't why i am in this race, i don't know where i am suppose to run to, i don't know anything.

i'm really afraid that one day i will lose sight of all of them... as they ran even faster and further.

right now, everything is in a mess.

tagg replies*

khangleng. HELLO!! yea linked liao and seeya in school too. smile(:

guoying. i DON'T torture my dear little chiwa to death ok!! i miss him so much lehh, i cried for one hour lehh!! seeya arnd:)

yinghui. yeap kind of believe that dreams may come true. you take care too and miss you! stay happy!!

tony. hmm patience isn't something i have, oh well nvm. anyway how dare you use my blog to publicize your blog! tsktskHAHAS anyway thanks for all those wise words! will try to plant my flowers(:

pearlyn. next year 12jan at s'pore conference hall? NEXT YEAR?? hahas i obviously can't confirm now right, will go if i can lahh. i will not miss a chance to see wonderful ruiling perform!!

Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

you sure about good stuff? right now i don't even see a single good stuff...

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.

will you be??

2007-06-30T21:20:00.000+08:00

they called it DREAM & RETRIBUTION

it wasn't supposed to turn out this way

Lesson 1: there's a reason why they called it 'DREAM', because it never really happen. even if it happens, it's once in a 'whatever colour' moon.
Lesson 2: 'RETRIBUTION' do exist in this world, trust me.

Has my endurance reaches its limit? i don't know why am i starting to take it seriously, i don't know why is it starting to affect me. that sentence of word that you said kept repeating itself inside my head.
my heart hurts, literally.
ok so maybe it's just a health problem, or an incoming 'heart attack' signal. or maybe it's just my mind play trick on me. or maybe it's just plain retribution. whatever, it just hurts.

things just don't happen the way you want it.
what you dream, isn't what you get.

i did what i could do, i thought it was for the best, at least i thought so. but sometimes, reality contradicted your beliefs.
in other words, my belief is starting to waver.

maybe i am starting to get sick, i don't know why i am thinking about all these now.
conclusion: DREAMS are just DREAMS

[EDITED]
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY HWEEKEE,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ZHIYU,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SHEERY,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY HUIMIN,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ZIQI,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CAROLINE and last but not least...
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SUNTHAI:D

tagg replies;
jialing: *looking at the photo again* it's still logs. okayy lahh i'll be nice. OMG it's really a bunch of sleeping beauty, i can't believe my eyes!!
jane: aiya come blog to relax lahh, after exam confirm screwed one so study for what. and you didn't tell me you changed blog! tsk!
sheery: you bully me, why i pay again!! cannot like that lar, i am just a poor little innocent kind blah blah... kid. main point: POOR!! HAHAS
pearlyn: hahas you're welcome. strange as it is, i think guzheng very cool hahas, i want to learn! but don't think got the perseverance and patience:X

DREAMS, BELIEFS, RETRIBUTION, REALITY
that's part of life.

2007-06-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

please let it be EVERLASTING(:

i realised that my blogging is more frequent during exam period instead of during non-exam period, i mean i should be mugging so hard now that 'switching on the computer to blog' should not even happen at all. okayy it's funny how life works, on second thought, how i work instead.

wait a minute, what was i going to blog about?

oh, NOTHING..
damn it, random-ness invaded me again.
wait wait, i want money!! gosh i am so darn broke, and shopping spree is getting into me. and i want to eat my sakae sushi, and i want to go k-box to sing all my S.H.E songs, and i want to go marina bay to steamboat with all my friends, and i want to play mahjong and win!! and and..
and the special day is coming(:

i wish, i hope, and i want it to be EVERLASTING(:
and i will do my utmost best to make it happen.

back to mugging, or maybe sleeping since it's kind of late.
jiayou everyone!! wishing best of all, from the great SUNTHAI:D

tagg replies*
sheery_ sorry larr, not that i don't want go out with you, but mugging period): i also want go out with you!! we go k-box okayy!! so sorry okayy, don't be angry(: smile
eunice_ you mug hard too, hardcore mugger(: hahas and yeap after exam period we go steamyboat ok!! by the way, it's not 5 days more lar!!! :X
qianni_ to my adorable, sweet, cute, kind little daughter qianni, when did you become 4years old!!! how can 4years old got boyfriend huhh?? tsktsk HAHAS(:
chunkiat_ you can send me the MAIN photo if you want since i don't have. i don't want to be killed by her okayy. you can put as your display pic if you want(:
jialing_ ahem, SLEEPING BEAUTIES O.O okayy i wasn't expecting that. LOL more like sleeping logs bahh, HAHAS jiayou for midyrs and tkcare:D
yinghui_ WOW yinghui is such a great chef to cook the hotdogs so delicious-ly!! and don't you give up cycling!! you must cycle, but must be slower than me ok! HAHAS
pearlyn_ midyrs gonna be gone in a flash, it's just a short four days!! yeah jiayou! i knw right now you are camping at cchms, the concert was great, i like the guzheng sound!!(:

friendshipEVERLASTING
i will give it all i've got(:

2007-06-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

IRREPLACEABLE

now AND ever, i hope

4MODESTY'07 CHALET(:
zhaopeiANDadelineovernight playing!!overnight snoringmahjong! smile(:cherie, junjin & mepearly.valerie.xiumin.wynne.kah hwee! as usual, yellow ribbon benedict! HAHAS(:

the one and only 4modesty'06,

nothing can replaces it, in my heart.

eds@ east coastour bikes(; yinghui, qianni, cecilia & me
tony, cecilia, xinyi, qianni & aaron
somewhere far away~~
the 'familiy' photo(:
and cycling for arnd 2hours made your legs swollen and sunburnt you too.

the official mugging period is now on, but right now i'm craving for:
1) k-box
2) sakae sushi
3) steamboat at marina bay
4) shopping spree( even though i'm officially B.R.O.K.E )
5) mahjong craze!! :D

mahjong with zongze, kaijie, chunkiat, shawn and pearlyn at shawn's house, and talking about beginner's luck AND skills, i won several times in a row!! hahas so now it's mahjong craze for me! yeah let's have overnight mahjong!! :D

okayy fine let's study, i suddenly just realise that june common test is next, next week and it's giving me a ' so little time, so much to revise' feeling.

basically, i'm so dead.

taggs replies;
tony. professional bloggers let the photos speak for themselves, they don't need to describe it. HAHAS
qianni. i'm such a nice daddie to put my cute & adorable daughter photo as the first one, even though it's abit unglam... oops(:
pearlyn. ruiling arh, that's a golden retriever, not a labrador or whatever lols. yeap hope you've fun during chalet! and let's MAHJONG!!!
cecilia. oh my gosh, how can someone be impersonating me?? i must be the 'hot sexy me'!! HAHAS cecilia you are NOT hot, i am(:
chunkiat. SPAMMER!! and unfortunately, your current phone mp3 is softer than mine, and has 2megapixel, so overall, i win! HAHAS and UPDATE!
yinghui. go yinghui, cycling is easy! but prolong cycling is unhealthy. and those small hotdogs are oven-cooked one right?? lols

[when you're gone; avril lavigne]

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know

Everything I do I give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

The words I need to hear will always get me through the day

And make it OK

I miss you

they says nothing lasts forever.

i hope we will, and i will cherish it(:

2007-05-31T23:14:00.000+08:00

i'm trying my best;

"all good things come to an end" that's what the mc for the vjc harmonica concert said that night.
"but remember, there's still next year! hope to see you all again at vjc harmonica concert next year!" she continued.

maybe what zongze said is true, guess it's really inevitable huhh?
oh well, at least i've tried my best. all i wish for now, is that everything will work out at least.

CCHMS EDS SYF
TJC LIBRARY
TEMASEK'S NIGHT(CCC PERFORMANCE)
CHUNKIAT'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION
VJC HARMONICA CONCERT
TJC SPORT'S EXPOSURE
RANDOM PHOTOS
and i miss chungcheng!!!!!

tagg replies;
since most of the tags are asking me to update, well...
i've updated!! (:

these are my memories,
but i'm not ready to let it just be memories yet, not yet.

2007-05-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

just walk away-

i am ~~fucking~~ pissed off right now,
and it wasn't supposed to turn out this way.
i'm trying my utmost best to make it a perfect day for you all,
but in the end, it's not even close to perfection.

i'm so glad at this instance no one is beside me, because if someone is to irritate me in this mood, i'm so going to say '~~fuck~~ off' at that person and scold vulgarities.
please people, sometimes all i need is a little help.
gosh god, let it be a happy ending. and if someone is unhappy about it, go to hell.

okay i apologise for what i've said, i'm just in a f*cking damn mood):
just walk away.

tagg replies*
qianni. yeah a silver like finally!! aiyo cry for what, should be happy! & it isn't surprising for me to turn up & support you all ok!!
sheery. ok lahh we organise together, so you will decide the people place time and activities! oops that's like organising everything! LOL
kenneth. never mind lahh, i know my daddie is very busy(: i'm a nice person!!
zhaopei. i know, i just don't understand why is my taste so good haix... HAHAS

i admit, it's so hard trying to hold the pieces together.
cause you can do nothing,
when the pieces are falling apart.
so why am i still believing in all this shit,
that i can at least hold on to every single pieces.
and relive the memories?
gosh loads of bullshit. i don't believe in it anymore.

or should i say, blame myself for cherishing those memories.
to me, those memories are preciouse and irreplaceable.
to you, those memories is a simple word.
trash.

2007-04-23T20:28:00.000+08:00

when you're gone

Restorative
You love to solve problems. Whereas some are dismayed when they encounter yet another breakdown, you can be energized by it. You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms, identifying what is wrong, and finding the solution. You may prefer practical problems or conceptual ones or personal ones. You may seek out specific kinds of problems that you have met many times before and that you are confident you can fix. Or you may feel the greatest push when faced with complex and unfamiliar problems. Your exact preferences are determined by your other themes and experiences. But what is certain is that you enjoy bringing things back to life. It is a wonderful feeling to identify the undermining factor(s), eradicate them, and restore something to its true glory. Intuitively, you know that without your intervention, this thing-this machine, this technique, this person, this company-might have ceased to function. You fixed it, resuscitated it, rekindled its vitality. Phrasing it the way you might, you saved it.

Adaptability
You live in the moment. You don't see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn't mean that you don't have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don't resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.

Includer
"Stretch the circle wider." This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person's feelings. Why do that if you don't have to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve.

Communication
You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. This is your Communication theme at work. Ideas are a dry beginning. Events are static. You feel a need to bring them to life, to energize them, to make them exciting and vivid. And so you turn events into stories and practice telling them. You take the dry idea and enliven it with images and examples and metaphors. You believe that most people have a very short attention span. They are bombarded by information, but very little of it survives. You want your information-whether an idea, an event, a product's features and benefits, a discovery, or a lesson-to survive. You want to divert their attention toward you and then capture it, lock it in. This is what drives your hunt for the perfect phrase. This is what draws you toward dramatic words and powerful word combinations. This is why people like to listen to you. Your word pictures pique their interest, sharpen their world, and inspire them to act.

Developer
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth-a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of "flow" where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments-invisible to some-are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.

tagg replies;
yinghui; hahas ok i will jiayou! your senior has alot of perseverance even though he's like so busy HAHAS, you takecare too and let's pray for at least a silver!!
szeyan; of course my mummie wont forget me!! my daddie kenneth too(: hahas anyway i know i look great in the uniform, even though tjc uniform is like UGH!! hahas missyou and tkcare!!
hazel; hello!! aiyo you sound like i forced you to come and tag my blog lar!! hahas sound more willing mahh and visit my blog often(: tkcare!
sheery; come on be a good girl lahh, okayy larr, we organise together ok?? like that everyone happy mahh! HAHAS clever me:D
chunkiat; i've got nothing to say, since i was right behind you when you're typing this-.-
jiemin; yo, i know i look so much more handsome now lahh, you can just say that HAHAS ok you takecare too!!

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you~

2007-04-15T20:55:00.000+08:00

clinging on,
before i hit the ground.

i'm feeling so depressed.
tutorials, projects, everything is starting to pile up.
but still, i am doing nothing about it. instead, i'm still living in the pasts, trying my best to rewind the times, when i know it's impossible.
and the fact that tomorrow is monday and the start of another torturous weekdays is not making me smile at all.

gosh, i'm still clinging on to those memories, and i don't want to think that it will fall apart and fade away eventually...
even if it does.

tagg replies;
cecilia; hello what nerdy!! i will always look cute & adorable in any kind of uniform, even though i've got to admit tjc uniform is so ugh~~ HAHAS(: at least i look nicer than you!!
qianni; HAHAS so you want chocolates full of daddie's love. okayy i shall be nice and MAKE those chocolates for you! lol yes i will tag often & i DO NOT look weird in that haircut!!
sheery; yes madam i will find one day to go out with you, ROGER!! HAHAS okayy lahh i also want to, but very busy sia. you organise and tell me the dates lahh. HAHAS:D
yinghui; yesyes your senior is especially hardworking & have perseverance, so he wont give up the camera so easily HAHAS, okayy you takecare too and smile(: seeya!

if there's something i'm looking forward to;
it's those moments we shared together.
if there's something i want to see;
it's those smiles on your faces.
if i could do something,
i will stop the time,
relive the moments and look at all of your smiles...

2007-04-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

BELIEF&YOU

wednesday- plaze singapura(: me, zhaopei & woonhwee me & zongze, and i looked so much taller than him!! not only that i am wearing the sajc's tie in case you didnt notice the difference in the colour.zhaopei & zongzezhaopei & woonhweeeee~me & zongzeand me acting very sad): HAHAHAS

friday afternoon- tjc libraryliangyu & jennakhangleng & liangyu

today-bugiswoonhweeee~, zhaopei & zongze
and zongze looked so dead in there, because we were walking in the bugis street and junction for the whole afternoon. i am like so tired too, but apparently the two girls, especially zhaopei, were so excited about shopping that they practically forgot that they were tired HAHAHAS :X

anyway i am so pissed off with my internet. for some stupid reasons, if you used cbox as tagboard in your blog, i will not be able to view or tag in your tagboard, because there's some idiotic error message appearing in the tagboard...so like how am i suppose to tag like this? argh.. because of this, i cant tag in ruiling, junjie and many people's blog as alot of people used cbox. so i'm sorry but i may never ever again tag in all of your blogs):
to make it worst, if yours is a livejournal, i cant even access your blog, as that same irritating error message appeared on the webpage itself. ARGH, can someone help me for goodness's sake!!!

whatever, i'm just hoping i will survive through the weekdays and arrive at the weekends(:
takecare everyone!

taggs replies;
szeyan; hey i thought kenneth is my daddie?? HAHAS and i recieved your postcard, omg thanks so much!! i'm so touched lahh, you didnt forget about me~ thanks mummie and your son always miss you!! :D
adeline; hey zhaopei me everyone miss you too lahh, you try to make some day free so we can hang out one whole day together, maybe celebrate ck's birthday? ps: NO i am not talking about you-.-
qianni; okayy i will relinked you. and who give my daughter so much chocolates?? BOYFRIEND HUHH?? HAHAS such young age then tsktsktsk. okayy lorr daddie dun give you anymore chocolate liao HAHA(:

i put my trust in you;
cause i believe in you

2007-04-10T19:41:00.000+08:00

a stab in the heart

okayy at this exact moment, i'm having no motivation to do anything at all. bleh, basically i'm blogging so as to make my blog seems 'not so pathetically un-updated', and also to prove that i am more updated than junjie(:

gosh i'm feeling so slackish nowadays. not only that, there's something in my heart that keeps bothering me.
i'm trying my utmost best, but in the end, i was left hanging on a thread. i don't know why, but everything seems to be falling apart. i really hope it's just my imagination, and not reality. you don't know how important those memories are to me, you don't know the pain when i realised that gradually, what will be left are memories only.

should i give up, or should i keep on trying?
takecare everyone.

ohyes before i end, i should include this too, who knows when will i update again..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUNKIAT(12th)
why is he the only april baby?? dangs...

taggs replies.
pearlyn; yar lahh, junjie's motive of tagging is only to suan me only. at least there's someone nice like ruiling instead of junjie, tsktsk:X hahs ruiling is a nice name!!
sheery; hahas i like finally updated my blog, even though it's a really short post. hey sad that we cant go out together, but i'm sure we will one day okayy(: tkcare!!
chunkiat; firstly my english is the best! secondly i didnt paiseh myself in tjc okayy. everyone admired me of my perfect english, mr junjie~:D
szeyan; i am so looking forward to your letter hahas let's hope it will reach my mailbox fast! and swimming sucks lahh, i dont like): lol takecare mummie!!
kenneth; hey 'daddie'? hahas try to survive in hci ok! i know swimming for pe lessons sucks but arh no choice hahas. i maybe gonna crash hci next wed lehh!! HAHAS
tony; hey wanna crash hci next wed? hahas then we can whack kenneth's head!! and see how boring hci can be... LOL!!
benedict; your computer sucks lahh, why cannot see the photos? hahas see my computer rocks sia(:
xinyi; yes i updated. and yes music & lyrics rocks!! drew barrymore is hotter than hugh lahh!! wait, i am the hottest!! :D
zhaopei; hahas come on get a life, dont be so bored at home lahh, you can always talk to me instead of playing o2jam-.- and omg another blog? i wonder will it survive??
jiemin; yesyes i know, huiying aka jessica right? hahas she told me too, and i saw her in your blog too. yeap takecare!!
qianni; ok i updated liao lahh, hahas nice blog you have, i lurve the sheep skin!! and jiayou for syf okayy!! daddie is here to support you!! but no chocolate this time><
yinghui; how can you call your senior lazy? your senior, esp sunthai, is the MOST hardworking of all. hahas workhard for syf and tkcare. smile(: & i haven forgotten bout yr camera!!

i'm really happy for you, sincerely.
but still, it kills me inside.
i guess eventually, you will find your new life,
and that will be the end of me...

2007-03-14T20:05:00.002+08:00

uncertainty;

will those be empty promises?

'music and lyric' movie(: chunkiat and benedict (I'm a cyborg, but that's ok MODESTY'06)music and lyric girls, and pearly seems so sick inside the photo.zhaopei & liangyuplaying at marina square before the movie starts(:

and overall, the movie was nice and sweet, and there were some funny moments that made me laugh uncontrollably, hahas you can asked pearly for that.
ohhh, i am on a movie craze now yeah!! hahas i want to watch 'Stomp The Yard' & 'Hearty Paw'!! ( by the way guys, i just realise that it's hearty PAW, not hearty PAWS. hahas sorry for teaching you all the wrong thing. although i don't understand why is it PAW and not PAWS, when you know, a dog got more than one PAW, so it should be called PAWS instead, argh whatever. i just want to watch the movie!!)

steamboat at marinabay again(:oh by the way, that's not my hand. that dark colored hand belongs to adeline yong meiyen. as you can see, the hand was cleverly positioned as if it's touching pearlyn's AHEM, and it was a coincidence, since adeline is always waving her arms around, causing air pollution, hahas :Xand pearlyn is being a very nice girl by peeling the prawns for us, and i mean alot of prawns. just look at the prawns shells mountain above, all by pearlyn ng ruiling(: *claps* pearlyn is the best mate for steamboat, she cooked and peeled for you, yeah!!and these are the crabs that we didn't even touch at all since they looked big and difficult to cook. anyway adeline was so disappointed when we left the crabs there, since she was hoping she could take the crabs home with her hahas:Dwe love eggs!! omelette, scrambled eggs, you just named it and we cooked it for you!!adeline, pearlyn and eunice!and finally we finished eating!!and we love taking photos in the mrt(: especially right after steamboat!!brings back memories, doesn't it? all these photos were taken around one or two year/s ago, during past 4modesty steamboat outings at marinabay.
4modesty'06...

anyway avril lavigne new song "girlfriend" rocks!! you should go listen and watch the mv. the song also comes in mandarin, japanese, spanish, blah blah version all sang by avril.. go listen to the mandarin version of 'girlfriend', it's so.. weird but cute hahas.
ohyes before i end..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZONGZE(11th)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAIJIE(12th)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOONYANG(16th)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIANGYU(18th)
i am such a nice guy, ohwell. may all of your wishes come true and stay happy forever!! smile and 4modesty'06 forever(:

taggs replies:
yinghui; yoyo jiayouX100 for whatever you do and syf too ok!! hahas and i will be aiming for that camera forever!! be careful~~
sheery; yo i know you finally found a job right(: hahas happy for you. but sad because you cant go out with us anymore): but i'm sure oneday we will go kbox, yeap!!
szeyan; hahas i know that jiemin and jiahua is your primary school one, they asked me before. anyway your dear little son here is also going to have his PACKED timetable soon. haix so he will be as busy as his mum. anyway stay happy and blog often(: miss you!!
evelyn; sorry i can't go to the cg outing at bali thai-.- hahas i know it's seoul garden arh. anyway good luck to you and takecare!!
pearlyn; the 'to the left' song is called irreplacable ruiling tsktsk. hahs and pae o7S302!! anyway i want my hearty paw, let's go watch it(: and also remind me what are the songs you want ok, i keep forgetting-.-" hahas go prawn peeler forever!!
jiemin; hahas i visited your nice blog too!! and bali thai is not funny-.- hahas tkcare and good luck to you!!
tony; are you sure you can take nali thai foods, it's like hot and spicy you know, just like me(: so hot and spicy.... hahas
chunkiat; what's so funny about bali thai-.-, tone deaf-er hahas. and don't quarrel with ruiling, she helped us peel prawns yesterday lehh, unlike you who keep suaning about the herbal soup i made for you all tsktsk, i'm so nice lorr(;
wynne; hahas thanks alot! i will have alot of fun at tjc, you too ok! update your blog more often and takecare!! have fun at vjc!
xinyu; yoyo a new visitor of my blog, my blog's so popular nowadays hahas, anyway it's not fun kicking my legs ok, and you kicked so hard! oneday i will have my revenge. MUHAHAHS... tkcare and seeya at tjc!!
siewhui; 'irreplacable' and desperate housewives rock lahh!! and you can teach the hand movement( not hand sign) to your friends so that they can do it with you hahas. tkcare and to the left, to the left~~

when there's uncertainty,
what i need is reassurance.
cause everything's falling apart,
everything's coming to an end,
slowly and slowly, bit by bit.
right now, i'm really scared.
will those be only empty promises???

2007-03-02T20:00:00.000+08:00

start of something new?

pearlyn & wanting
me, shiyu & siewhui
(from top to bottom, left to right) wanting, pearlyn, siewhui, shiyu & fufoong
soohwee, jingchun, jessica and yuanling
evelyn, kangli, jiahua and jiemin(from top to bottom, left to right) wanting, pearlyn, siewhui, me, tony and mingshengstuck on the wall; pearlyn, siewhui, wanting & fufoong(from bottom left, clockwise) jocelyn, dewi, sandeep, merin, raihanah, rashidah, choontee and aiman
that concludes my adorable 07S302, good luck to everyone ok!!
and i realise pearlyn is in four of these eight photos hahas(:

shall not blog too much today, feeling tired from badminton just now. will be going chunkiat's house tomorrow to gamble muhahahas!!
oh well seeyou and takecare everyone. hope everyone will be pleased with their posting result!

tagg replies:
sheery; hahas well then thanks for the ice cream cone($0.50) you'll be treating me. and please i am not insane enough to treat you to a kbox($15-20). see the big difference in cost? hahas
pearlyn; xian zai you should be able to kan dao these recent posts le bahh. hahas and yes yes you passed econs test lorr, and i didn't. wth, ohwell nvm expected it as i didn't study~ muhahas seeya tomorrow(:
pearlyn wanting fufoong; hello and byebye. dots please do something more conducive instead of spamming my blog. i know my blog's popular, but this is the first time my blog kena spammed until so much! lol
07S302(kangli,jiahua,evelyn); thanks for representing the whole class to visit my blog. and i have a life, a wonderful life!! hahas
yinghui; yesyes you are nice to link her. lol and i totally love that camera, how i wish i can have it for birthday present. hmm, hahas well good luck for syf and jiayou!!
chunkiat; mjc taught me alot of things, i've brushed up on my english there(: and stop with that winklepedia, it was just a slip of my tongue. also, i'm pretty sure i didn't spell nostalgia wrongly ok. i've checked liao. argh so going to gamble away your money tomorrow!!

is this the right choice for me?
i don't want my future to be ruined.

2007-02-26T23:06:00.000+08:00

sooner or later-the grand finale

argh i'm feeling unwell now, vomitting during pe lesson had definitely drained the life out of me. not only that, i puked, with nothing coming out of my mouth. ok maybe there's hydrochloric acid, but other than that, i tried to vomit, but nothing came out.
since i didn't eat for breakfast, recess and lunch.

so maybe i should not be describing the process of sunthai's vomitting too much:X

and i've got two tests tomorrow, namely maths and economics. which i am so going to fail. not that i am expecting any miracle to happen, but i don't really give a heck, at most a sense of satisfactory if i pass.

oh, i hate swimming. holding your breath and submerging underwater gives me the creeps.

ok so i admit i am talking rubbish here. whatever, i'm just feeling plain bored, with a little bit of nostalgia.
till then takecare everyone and good luck for next week's posting results(:

taggs replies*
sheery; hello president of sunthai's fanclub. yeap let's go k box. i craved for kbox so much! hahas but i am not going to pay for you. you got worked ok, i don't have money at all lorr):
pearlyn; wo you blogged de lorr, and why the sudden change of using hanyupinyin hahas. feels so strange. the stupid blogger's server is like argh, hahas zhu ni hao yun for tomorrow tests(:
yinghui; are you sure it's okay linking that someone's blog. and for some reason that someone seems so irritating to me. argh. back to main topic, that camera of yours seems so attractive. lol
szeyan; aiyoo how can you not know where my dad is. never mind, i help you find a new daddy bahh. you takecare too ok, hope you're happy and smiling now(: and i will try to find time to email you!! argh jc life is so &*%#$@*&!!!!!! hahas

sometimes i think,
would it be better, if i was to be in a same place as you?
i just can't imagine my future, without you.......

2007-02-22T23:34:00.000+08:00

someone who will see that in me;

those special three words

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR(:

and i'm updating, hahas even though it's becoming a hassle for me, due to my busy lifestyle. i officially declared that JC life sucks, i don't even have a single motivation to study, considering the facts that i failed both economics and maths tests, hahas. oh well so much for "i'm gonna buck up after chinese new year", maybe i shall change it to "i'm going to study hard after march holidays!" hahas(: is it me, or i'm so gonna screwed up my midyear exam this way? haix

ok back to the main topic, it's CHINESE NEW YEAR, like that's the most anticipating festival for me, other than the march, june or whatever holidays. hahas i totally love chinese newyear, especially those red packets(: but still i seems to be growing horizontally!

chinese newyear eve celebration

me & adelineme & euniceben & keweiadeline & eunice

eating at yoshinoya

me & adeline as gunners(:playing at marina square arcadeadeline & ednabowling at marina squareadeline zhaopei and chunkiat( the idiotic three )

chinese newyear eveas you should already know from the chinese newyear eve show on channel 8, there were mini fireworks at chinatown here. hahas and i immediately ran out to captured these on my camera(: and in case you don't know, these fireworks were really near my house, like about 0.2-0.3km away from my house? hahhas that's like so cool, even though the fireworks and the crackers were like freakingly loud.

singapore hong bao festivalthe horse will enjoy new beginnings in his/her lovelife. being truthful & honest with each other will certainly make the relationship last longer. this will be a great year for a relationship to settle down as well. the horse should not be too engrossed with work and neglect his/her partner this year.

and if you're thinking that i am the one who come up with such professional paragraph, well you're wrong. i merely just copy it from a sign board beside the horse. anyway the above paragraph doesn't really apply to me, so i don't really give a heck. just thinking it might help someone out there. gosh i'm such a nice guy~(:

yinghui's houseme xinyi yinghui and tonyus again with yinghui's motherus again with xinyi acting as superstar~hahasme and xinyi acting in goong(:

oh and i'm feeling nostalgia recently.
that familier pencilcase, and that familiar slingbag, it reminds me of you.
will everything be all right?
insecure..

takecare everyone and bye~

tag replies/
sheery; thanks for waiting so long for me to update. you're officially in sunthai's fanclub! hahas and my blogskin now is not depressing, it's erm.. loving~. ohwell let's go out during march holidays ok(:
cecilia; yes i updated, even though there's your disgusting face there. ugh, people're so not gonna visit my blog anymore, because of that face!! hahas:D
yinghui; hahas i've so much fun with you too, and thanks for linking that someone's blog to your blog, i know you don't really want to, hahas!! and thanks for those photos too, but i'm still aiming for that camera~
szeyan; glad you like that paragraph that i dedicated to you. must visit my blog often ok(: and i miss my mama, and my papa is nowhere to be found! anyway please reply xinyi in my tag. hahas she asked me to(: takecare and will always miss you!!
tony; yesyes i will update often, even though it's kind of troublesome. lol ohwell since you're a frequent visitor to my blog, so as to link to other's blogs... hahas
qianni; is it me or is my daughter becoming like cecilia? omg that's bad news, i wouldn't want two people going around saying 'i'm so cute!' haahs and yeap i LOVE your valentine's present lahh.
chunkiat; it's BROOD, tsktsktsk such bad english, you should really start improving your english, eventhough it's very difficult to get to my kind of high standard. hahas and duhh 8points is like good lar. slap you!
pearlyn; hello the girl one computer away, this is dumb hahs, anyway you should blog often now since you didn't blog for one month too due to your internet~ hahas. happy valentine and chinese newyear(:
xinyi; yoyo have so much fun with you all yesterday at yinghui's house! and yeap have asked szeyan to reply your tag. let's hope she notice(: takecare and stay sexy~ hahas
hweekee; happy chinese newyear to you too! and you should be the one who should update more often. your blog die so many times!!
edna; happy newyear too. shall be a nice guy as usual and see if i've the song in my computer. thanks me later. and update your blog more often ok!!

will you miss me like i do?
will we still be together?
i will never forget that moment,
that you help pick me up(:

2007-02-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

false hopes all along;
but it's for the best...

sorry for not updating for one month, been caught up with so many things. and i seem to have pissed off some people for not updating, namely szeyan and xinyi. hahas paiseh!!

seriously i don't have the mood to type a long post now, and i don't think anyone will be interested to read through a long post, so for the sake of all of your eyes, i shall post lots of photos for you all to feast on!!! thanks me later(:

Science Fiesta in mjc( which happens three weeks ago!! )

Car Glider group 1A

Car Glider group 1B

Merdian Murder Marathon( or whatever it's called ) gangand the egg yolk gang. in case you didn't notice, there's like only three guys in my class, which are me, tony and mingsheng( the guy in the above photo ). some random photos me & pearlyn took on that days!
and this is my almost-complete class photo:D

O level results release day

this day was definitely the most nerve-breaking day ever. i was like really nervous, and my whole body was like literally shaking. but thanks to god, i am pleased with my results(:
shiyun jieru xiumin woonhweethe piano gang

melvin guanjie shawn

chunkiat zhuoyi pearlychunkiat( blocked ) adeline eunice & liyinzongze kewei melvin and benedictjenna & soonyangchunkiat( blocked again by the thumb) adeline and euniceme and pearly(:

and yesterday was shopping spree at bugis! finally i'm starting to shop for chinese new year stuffs. and i spent around $80! which made me both satisfied and heartbroken. hahas
mr leongchunkiat was a very nice person yesterday! hahhas for the first time i praised him for being a nice and generous person lehh, he should be so happy(: but really thanks him alot for sacrificing those vouchers! even though he keep suaning me about my english..
and also i owe pearlyn alot of things. i sort of promised her to send her some songs and photos by putting them into sharing folders, but till now i haven't, due to my laziness. tsktsk, oh well her internet connection isn't going to come back till valentine day, so let's wait patiently until 14 february'07, and you will finally see pearlyn ng updating her blog!! yeah:D and she better change her tagboard as it's being invaded by thousands of advertisments.

tony's birthday
firstly, happy birthday to tony!! hahas and today i got to view somebody's blog, who declared love to someone else. ok this is like really funny. but still i promise that someone else that i will not spill any beans about that incident, so yeap i'm going to zip it(: tony's birthday cake!!cecilia aaron tony xinyi yinghui and qianni(: and it was a tiramisu cake, which is my favourite!!

and my dear szeyan is leaving tomorrow. i am going to miss her so much lahh, so i will dedicate this next paragraph to her:
thanks so much being my caring and cute mummy! and i don't even know who's my daddy, but i think my daddy also don't know me bahh. anyway you've been a great friend, encouraging me all these time, during the prelim and o level. i still keep those postcards, love letters and email you give/sent me lehh. those encouragements really help me alot, and i will never forget those moments that when i am feeling down, you'll sent me a postcard or sms to cheer me up. also thanks for listening to my complaints and helping me out. i will miss you, stay healthy and happy ok(: we shall keep in contact via email, so remember to email me anytime. love you<3

ok this shall be the end of my 'long' post. will update my blog again in the near future, at least i hope(; takecare everyone and seeya!

tags replies!
sheery; hahas i finally updated! ok i promise that oneday we will go out and have fun one!! hahas and my post aren't depressing okay. anyway that new blogskin of yours is nice, even though it's still kind of depressing hahas takecare!
hilary; of course i will never forget you lahh, and yeah i've lots of fun during orientation! hahas hope you're having fun in your jc too(:
tony; yes i didnt break my promise to update. and i'm not that bad to hope that person get payback lahh, just want that person to change. anyway happy birthday and i'm glad you like my presents!! friends forever:D
chunkiat; firstly i thank everyone equally and secondly i miss everyone equally. hahas please don't think that you're the king. lol but thanks for friday! cheer up and get well soon ok? takecare:D
xinyi; well i'm happy you like my present!! and yes i finally updated! but you need not broadcast to the whole world that i've sexy legs you know. afterward everyone jealous of my legs. hahas i know you wish that u've my legs. HAHAS
wanting; finally you visit my blog. after reminding you for like so many times, hahas well continue to visit ok. thanks!!
yinghui; yeap you takecare too and i've updated! ohyes can you link that person's blog to your blog so that i can sort of remember that person's blog? hahas well stay happy(:
szeyan; yes mama i've finally updated!! please do not cane me): haahs anyway i've dedicated one paragraph to you lehh, aren't you touched or what!! oh well i hope that you'll succeed in everything you do and remain cheerful forever! love you forever mummy:D

this is the true ending,
but i am not going to accept it.
even if those're just false hopes,
i'm still going to believe in you.
i just hope that someday,
my wishes will be fulfilled...

our story will not end here,
it will continue forever.
and i will never ever forget those memories,
all of us have together.
i love all of you...

2007-01-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

something's missing

and that's you;

my orientation group, callisto seven!! and our beloved adorable group leaders;D

ok it seems a long time since i last blogged, which was during the new year's eve when i had my most terrible mood swing. orientation was great and crazy, with investigation games, marathon-ing and waterbomb-ing. seriously, it's really fun, as compared to those boring lectures which will dulled me to sleep...

but for some reason, something's missing. i've got a strange feeling inside me, and i can't described it. to make it worst, i've got to choose my cca by tomorrow midnight. and i can't make up my mind. bleh~ this sucks!

oh yes, who cares about you? i'm so over you, totally. and say whatever you want about me, i don't care, i'll just ignore. at most, i'll give you a...
*what? what? WHATEVER~!!*

before i end, thanks chunkiat for the gift and letter!! thanks zhaopei for the keychain!! and pearlyn for accompanying me during the orientation and everything!! zongze for msn-ing with me when i'm really low, plus adeline for calling me to talk and crap with me!!really appraciate it, and friends forever:D

taggs replies;
cecilia_ i am cute no matter what. and if i keep thinking of you, i will get nightmares frequently!! ahh scary!!
xinyi_ erm speechless. yes you're 'tamadecute'...dots and merry christmas to you too and happy new year:D
qiani_ be a good girl. papa will buy you chocolate, someday, sometime, somewhere in the future...happy new year!!
sheery_ hey you still visit my blog! so touched... merry christmas to you too, although it seems kind of late;P
ck_ next time if you want to wish merry christmas, just say it. you need not suan people before that... and hope you're having a great time at vjc;)
yinghui_ merry christmas to you! and sorry that i couldnt make it on that day! hope you like the present!
cyan_ happy boxing day! *box you* orientation was great! and i will be waiting for my letter with anticipation! thanks for the postcard though:D
wynne_ glad you like my pictures! visit my blog often and tag!
hilary_ yeap i know i sound emotional, sorry! anyway happy newyear, and of course i didnt forget you!!

wondering if you miss me,
when i realise that you've moved on.

2007-01-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

whatever~

i don't know why am i feeling this way right now. on the new year's eve, i was in a bad mood. yet today, i am in a even worst mood. especially at this exact moment as i'm typing this post. still dwelling over those questions from the previous post.

fine i'm aint as perfect as you, i'm mr. imperfect. you will never understand how it feels to be always under you. even though i may not show it, it doesn't mean i don't feel anything. for goodness sake, why am i feeling so pissed off right now? just because everything is not going the way it should be? just because i'm aint perfect as you?

i don't understand at all.

one more day. i'm already unhappy with the fact that school's reopening, that i'll have to survive in an unfamiliar surrounding. and now this happened, causing me to be... uncontrollably furious. loads of vulgarities are going through my mind now. i feel like punching someone now. argh~

i give up.
just give me some times to recover from this madness.
and hope you all have a happy new year, unlike mine...

i give up.
i will never organise anything.
don't ask me to, if you don't want to pissed me off.

2006-12-31T12:25:00.000+08:00

jealousy

counting down to our last day, jealousy flooding my mind. when can i learn to be contented with my life, or should i ask, why are you so perfect?

on second thought, imperfectionist beyond hope or just imagination running wild? jealousy or admiration? hoping for or hopeless dreams? gosh, am i being too negative, or am i just afraid to face the truth?

this is one of the days where i start to think... seriously.
photos of past events coming up soon.

the difference between perfect and imperfect
is that one's positive, the other's negative.

2006-12-18T22:55:00.000+08:00

the familiar stranger;

today is the celebration of adeline/eunice perfect birthday bash!!! ( and ck, we're will not be bashing them up...) and i was the organiser of the birthday bash. due to my excellent organisation skills, the birthday bash was a success(: and we even surprised adeline( at least i think so). movie was next and we watched "Charlotte's Web". it's nice and funny, and i am not the rat ok!!! argh third movies in this month, i'm seriously broke... some of the crazy things we did outside the cinema, and i shall call this "Eunderella (with adeline)" adapted from "Cinderella" the korean movie(: and i am as adorable as happy feet!!! :D and my next production since "LCK must die", i present *drums roll*... "Death Note: The Last Name (modesty style) ". i know the pose, resolution, whatever wasn't that perfect as last time, but there was like millions of people staring at us, thinking that we were some crazy kids. we were like "faster take the picture!! alot of people looking at us lehh! faster!!"... lol, so paiseh lahh.

anyway the major event of the day, was the weaving of love web for a specific couple. LOL it was so funny, watching the couple chasing/looking for us. don't blame us, we'll just helping to create a chance for both of them. i won't mention the names, in case i get slapped by someone. pearlyn is in grave danger, for somebody is fainting to slap her... i want to thank everyone for coming today(: xiumin didn't join the movie as she don't have enough money, apparently she used $5 for a donation. wow that's like alot. anyway mr leong is leaving tomorrow to thailand, safe trip and don't forget my christmas present, and this time i don't want soil, air or water from thailand, thanks...

2 more weeks and 2006 will be over.
My Christmas wishes: a new sling bag( get it, shawn?) , Wind Fantasy 5 game, Final Fantasy X(shawn again~) and The Veronicas debut album( angeline~). take note of these everyone(:

oh and thanks to those who comforted me about the JAE results. i guess i wasn't prepared to enter mjc. it's not because the school is not good or whatever, even though alot of people says so, which demoralised me indirectly, but i wasn't mentally prepared as mjc isn't top on the 'jc that i want to enter' list. accessibility is another problem. imagine waking up 4-5am every morning, argh this is going to be a tough six weeks for me):

and the mjc orientation falls on the same day as the children camp. pissed off~
till then takecare everyone...

tagg replies;
tony; well i didn't really got into a jc that i want, but never mind le lahh. no choice, but at least got into same jc as you. thanks still
jialing; yepp will cheer up(: and i will survive the first 6 weeks, no matter how torturing it is. thanks and good luck to you!!
xinyi; thanks. i hope i can enter vjc and meet you:)
cecilia; hahas you sleeptalk? hope that the first 6 weeks will be gone in a flash!
yinghui; thank you! and try your best to learn cycling! we shall go cycling next time again!!
aaron; thanks, i will not be sad anymore(:
pearlyn; yoy same school mate, yepp i won't be upset anymore, because you can accompany me(: hope that we can get into same class!! *prays* and today was fun!!
cyan; smile too(:

what was meant to be, was never to be
what used to be familiar, is now drifting away.
someday, it may just all fall apart

10 years down the road, where will you be?
all i know, is that you'll be in my heart, somewhere...

2006-12-14T10:57:00.000+08:00

distraught

i've got nothing to say.
cause the god didn't answer my prayers.
instead, god makes me realize how stupid i am.
memories of prelim came rushing back.
and i know that it's useless for me.

i guess alot of you are jumping in joy now,
well as usual i am not one of them.

i don't know why,
but i am not happy at all):

my confidence has almost depleted.
i wonder how sucky my o's will be...

2006-12-13T22:54:00.000+08:00

let fate decide,
where i'll stand...

as promised, i posted these photos in my blog.
a crazy day in east coast park with tony, xinyi, cecilia, aaron, qianni, yinghui and shannon. we rode the bike for around one hour, which is very tiring, and my butt became numb. then lunch at pastamania at parkway.
ohyes i HATE cycling uphill, it consumed alot of energy(:

i guess everyone is feeling nervous, except for those who are brimming with confidence.
well i am obviously not one of them.
this is so nerve breaking, since my future may depend in this. but still, i am not holding high hopes, i just want someone to accompany me, so that i will not be spending my time in solitude with no one to talk to...
and in case you don't know what i am talking about, let me give you one hint: the results of the Provisional Pre-U admission will come out tomorrow.

i am not happy now. i am nervous):

tagg replies
jialing_ congrats you are one step closer to know more about 'the life of sunthai'!! lol anyway i am not the only who uses the earthquake threats, there are alot people out there who use that too. and totally agree that ck can be irritating. oops.
chunkiat_ tagging or spamming, you still owe me an earthquake, since i didnt breath out the taboo word on tuesday. you should thank me alot. anyway cheer up. you confirm can one, trust me. i got confidence in you(:
yinghui_ hellos. today is fun. hope you will eventually learn to cycle. you are getting it liao!!
pearlyn_ hey i didnt cheat!! this is called smartness. anyway you also cheated by deleting your blog!!(: protest- we want pearlyn's blog back! we want it back fast~~ LOL
cecilia_ oh it was tony? well i am pretty sure you did snore too. or was you dream talking? anyway you were doing something, but i forgot what it is, mrs pig~ ;)

one problem after another.
answer my prayer, god.
and let my simple wish come true, please.

2006-12-09T16:41:00.000+08:00

true friends, finally(:

Keep Holding On-Avril Lavigne
You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

[Chorus]
Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the door's closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

[Chorus]

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da, la da da da
La da da da da da da da da

[Chorus]

Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
We'll make it through

Hanging On-Cheyenne Kimball
I've had a bad day
And nothing ever seems to go my way
I've got a heartache
Don't wanna think about it

And everytime I try to smile, I cry,
So I'll just hide my face
Get out of my way
Don't wanna talk about it

And I'll be fine
I just need some time

[Chorus]
I'm hanging on today
And nothing's gonna stop me, anyway
I'm holding on, I'm strong
I'm the only one who can make it change
I don't wanna fight
I've gotta live my life
I'm gonna make it right
I'm hanging on
And nothing's gonna stop me, anyway

I went the wrong way
But I'm not lost, it's a good mistake
I saw the day break
I'm gonna shout about it

Oh, and everytime I turn around
I find that, I'm alone again
I've had a bad day
I'm gonna laugh about it

And I'll be fine
I'm gonna be all right

[Chorus]

When I feel lonely
I feel like I'm floating
Nothing is real
I'm above it all
I'm above it
I'm above it all

[Chorus]

I've had a bad day

tadah~ two great song recommendations from me(:
i strongly recommend the first song by Avril Lavigne. Finally after a long wait, Avril is coming up with a single( at least i think so ). This song will also be featured in the ERAGON movie and soundtrack. And i've got the song already, yeah so if you want it you can ask from me kindly.
second song is cool, simple yet meaningful lyrics. and if you're thinking how the name of the singer is pronounced, don't worry about it, i also don't know the pronunciation(:

anyway had been rotting at home ever since coming back from chalet. BUT i've been also trying my utmost best to find a temporary job, which proved to be almost dificult. My money supply has depleted, hence if i don't find a job to earn some extra cash, i will not be able to go out. even if i go out, while you all are watching movie, i'll be outside the cinema, watching real-life movie.
while you all are eating, i'll be looking at you all eat( wait a minute, i always do that ). while you all are k-boxing, i will be outside singing to myself. anyway you get the idea, don't you.

so if anyone of you out there has a job suitable for me, please get in contact with me. unfortunately i can only work for 2 weeks at most as i've got the first three month JC admission. and to all my friends, if any of your relatives are looking for people, be sure to inform me!!!

ok i sound really desperate. LOL
till then takecare everyone(:

tagg replies-
cecilia. yesyes i am wide awake now. couldn't get to sleep that night because someone( you ) was snoring like a pig. wait, you are a pig in the first place. ;D
tony. yeap the chalet was really fun. let's do it again, but wait until i got enough money. afterall we spent ALOT money on the BBQ, for some strange reason...
cyan. me and ck go film a television series, LOL i don't mind, since i will be the lead actor. anyway it's 'comical', not 'comic', tsktsktsk such bad english. and what's replies? i thought i already recommend lemonade juices to you LOL:)

i don't understand why is it in the past,
all i can see is your good qualities.
but not anymore,
i've began to see the darker side of yours.
i've began to change my view on you.
you got your life, i've my life,
so no more dwelling on you.
you split personality-er...

2006-12-07T11:49:00.000+08:00

counting down
to our last day...

yeah finally i'm back from my one night chalet from sentosa!! ok 'chalet' is not really the right word, 'hut' will be more correct, as we really stayed in a kampong hut literally. the hut was like freakingly small, with only about 2.0 m length and 2.0 breadth too, yes you can go measure that and realised that it will be even smaller than your luxurious bedroom. there's no television, toilet or refrigerator, the only things you could see were beds and a dying air-con( plus walls, ceilings blah blah). oh yes let's not forget that the huts were in a middle of a so called 'forest', hence we were attacked by mosquitoes, spiders, lizards, you can named any insects you want. considering it's only $40 per night, you will be getting this kind of 1 star room. (: that's tony and aaron at the back, and cecilia and xinyi( aka the tamade cute gals ) in the front. and the big fire you see in the middle of the photo, it's caused by dripping margarine into the flame. hence what we got in the end were satays, with the satay stick burnt away( aka the stickless satays ). barbecuing was great, with the food we put so much effort into cooking, and the alcohol-mixed drinks done by xinyi( it was very nice!!). and as usual we left alot of food uneaten. haix such a waste of food):

and today when we checked out, guess what we saw??a peacock!! this stupid peacock just can't stand still and keep changing its pose, waiting for us to capture the different angle of its pretty body, well they don't say "as proud as a peacock" for nothing. not only that, we saw at the carpark, a sign saying this,"beware of peacock pecking your cars". LOL like why should they go peck the cars, unless they want to make their beaks crooked? or maybe they aren't in the right state of mind? this is so funny LOL...

people going overseas, people working, seriously at this rate we are never going to meet each other anymore. i'm not saying that we all should not go overseas or go to work, BUT... fine i kind of miss everyone, having fun together. ( those reading this now must be going awwww~~~ so sweet ). anyway who knows when we will meet again, but till then, take utmost care(:

tagg replies
chunkiat are you sure you contributed during chalet? and who says i can't suan you on my blog. hello you suan me like don't know how many times in your blog!! LOL this is called revenge is sweet(:
cyan yepp you told me umpteen times that i'm nice!! and i just realised that lemonade is the nicest juice of all!! LOL anyway thanks for comforting me, i will not think too much;D
Qiani you miss the last episode of CHARMED?!?! that's so unforgivable. go check the youtube and see if there's the last episode? you must watch it no matter what!!
ly hey thanks alot. actually not hot lahh, i just anyhow dancing, just swaying with the music. there were other people hotter than me(:
wyn thanks for the praise! the skeleton shirt better look nice on me, i spent like don't knwo how much on it ok LOL ;)

2006-11-30T12:29:00.000+08:00

the end?

ok fine, so prom night was exceptionally fun, mainly due to the dancefloor. dancefloor was great, and it doesn't matter if you don't know how to dance, you can just sway to the music. it felt really nice. to be able to dance on a dancefloor, that's one wish fulfilled for me, ok i'm kind of happy. here are some of the pictures we took yesternight... fine so maybe yesternight i was really high at the dancefloor. but after the end of prom night, my body was officially lethargic and energy-less. but i was still happy as surprisingly, it only took less than 10 minutes to reach my home, and it only cost $6.45, LOL which is like really cheap, since i was thinking the cost will be like $10+++

i was thinking practically the whole night...when will we have the chance again to dance together at a dancefloor, when will we have the chance again to have fun and play together? on the taxi, i just realize that this may be the last time we see each other. there will not be anymore major events that will bring the majority of the class together and have fun( unless someone is kind enough to organise ). in some ways, prom night had brought us closer together, as we would be shopping, choosing prom clothes, hanging out together. think about it, will we have the chance to do this again? maybe and maybe not.

two years in 4 modesty has just passed. in this class, i had gone through happiness, and disappointment. for the first time in my whole life, i realised the importance, and the fragile-ness, of friendship. maybe it's because of this, i cherish 4 modesty alot. i still remember two years ago, i was telling adeline, that all good things come to an end. but today, i still can't accept that. graduation day didn't marked the end, but prom night probably marked the end of everything. just when we got back together, we may have to separate again.

to everyone in 4 modesty, and i really mean every single one of you in 4 modesty, thanks alot for being part of my life. i will miss every single one of you, and will never ever forget 3/4 modesty. takecare everyone, i'm sure someday we will see each other again. if we see each other on the streets, don't forget to say "hello!!". gosh i am feeling so sad and down now~~

the end or the beginning,
either way it sounds horrible to me.
this is not a happy ending to me,
as i still have something left undone.
will we see each other again?

2006-11-27T20:18:00.000+08:00

it's over

sometimes you wonder, why do you care so much about others. sometimes you wonder, if it's worth caring so much for others. you care so much about others' feeling, sometimes you just lose yourself. you ask yourself the true meaning of life, if you live for yourself, or for the sake of others, but sometimes you can't find the answer at all. you wish that you could be independent and not be influenced by people, but it is just impossible. the problems of relationship can be devastating. you wish the best for others, you do everything you can to maintain the relationship, but does your partners do the same? do your partners feel the same way as you do? you tried to find out the answer, but was left hanging on a thread. you know it hurts, but still you cherish the relationship, hence you decide to bear the pain, and live with it. even if your partners doesn't appreciate it. sometimes you wonder, if it's your imagination, but you will never know the truth, as you can never know what the others' really feel. sometimes you wonder, if it's your fault, or your partners' fault?
you want to forget about it, but it's hard.

ok random thoughts. went out to buy prom clothes today again. seriously my enthusiasm with prom night is rapidly slipping down, considering the fact that buying prom clothes is so tiring and troublesome. you need to know if it's suitable, how it looks on you, how people think of it... so many factors affecting your choices. ohya did i mention i have a sudden craze for brown and striped recently, i'm totally in love with dark brown and milky white striped!!!! LOL. anyway, it's not as if i am snatching the prom king title, unlike someone ( you know who i'm talking about, i'm not mentioning the name ;D ) who is aiming the prom king title. LOL. truthfully, if he was to be nominated as the prom king, i will definitely vote for him, since there will be an earthquake for me if i vote. ( oops did i reveal too much information ) gosh, i'm so going to be beaten up/ slapped/ punched by somebody.

some things are better left forgotten;
but some things can't be forgotten;
even if you want to...

2006-11-24T21:42:00.000+08:00

forever charmed;

okayy, this is getting teary. considering the fact that i just finish watching 'CHARMED season 8' final season, final episode. yes yes i know people have been saying CHARMED has been getting worse with every season, with shawn saying,' they now focused more on sex appeal ', and with chunkiat saying,' it is idiotic', but no matter what happens, there will be a loyal CHARMED fan living in singapore at chinatown.

the season finale of the final episode was like really touching, i could feel the tears rolling in my eyes literally. gosh, i will really miss CHARMED a whole lot. maybe i should watch the whole eight seasons again? darn it, i just can't accept the fact that CHARMED is gone, over, no more. let's just hope they will produce another exciting series like CHARMED, and by that i do not mean prisonbreak, smallville. ghost whisperer could be my next addiction, but there's only Jennifer Love Hewitt, unlike CHARMED which have Alyssa Milano, Rose Mcgowan and Holly Marie Combs. okayy i just want to say, i will miss CHARMED~

taggs replies;
[edna] don't be idiotic edna. try doing something more conducive like reading my post twice instead of 'hello,byebye' in the tagboard. ;X
[pearlyn] LOL ever since you mixed too much with adeline & chunkiat, you've joined the 'i'll be in every photo' gang. hahas . T.S.K.T.S.K ;D
[jialing] i'm glad you realised how unglam you've looked inside. LOL no lahh, i can see that someone is more unglam-er than you ;)
[cyan] on 2nd thoughts, email is also kind of troublesome. LOL, & you want what juices? apple, orange or grape? i think honeydew juice is very nice :D

2006-11-22T14:58:00.000+08:00

'restart' button
firstly, we got a group of people whose eyes will be stuck on the television watching the popular korean drama series "Goong", while their mouths munched on potato chips and bbq food. and for some reasons, i became "Shin Jun" and " Lu Jun", while mrs eunice became "Cai Jing". LOL
secondly, there will be a group of people trying their utmost best to cook the raw food in the dim light. but luckily the light provided by the 'symbol of friendship' shone through the darkness and gave them the strength to continue cooking.
note: not all people in the photo were helping to cook. some greedy people( namely chunkiat and adeline ) were just hovering around the pit, waiting for the cooked to land on their plates :D
thirdly, there will be a group of people trying their utmost best too, to squeeze into every photos so as to be in the spotlight. what they did not realise is, the spotlight will always be on me x) LOL. and that summarize what happened on the first chalet night. pearlyn :DLim Sun Thai ( me ) ;)Adeline :PYellow ribbon project benedict :X LOL
and this concluded the end of the chalet...

whirlpool, confusion, suffocation, mindblock, silent...
let's call these the after effects of prelim and o level examinations.
or you may call these retributions.
so much rushing through my mind.
a pulled rubber band that is about to snap.
you told me to forget about it and let it go,
but it still lingers in my mind.
i just feel so guilty,
i did not really mean anything.
sorry.

tagg replies[ as requested ]
qianni- thanks for the good luck. and yu must jiayou for everything you do. for now let's work ard for syf!!
yinghui- hey you must be happy too, don't only comfort me, you must also be strong too ;D
pearlyn- hello miss 1st post olevel tagger PLUS supporter of univarsesunlets.broglet.com. tsktsktsk, that will be 100 earthquake from you for being the supporter. hahas takecare too;D
chunkiat- yesyes you can express anything you want on your blog. or should i say on univaresunlets brog?? one day i will have my revenge.
ksy- i said to meet at harbourfront mrt at 1 am, not 2 am. you're late. we already went for movie at that time. dangs
jialing- erm yesyes i will be so happy if you all could remove the 'laminated chicken' from your mind. since i'm so nice to paste your photo there. and i know i am the king of the world. MUHAHAS
cyan- lol thanks a million for those 'love' letters. i will cherish them a whole lots. and about your 'love' letters, why don't i send you through email? it's faster. LOL
heke- you must also keep blogging, don't let your blog be stagnant for too long!! and have fun during the holidays too!! takecare ;D

when can i walk out of this black tunnel?
when can i find my happiness?
or will i?

2006-11-19T19:55:00.000+08:00

bleak future;

i know o level is over. i know we should be celebrating our escape from studying, and have lots and lots of fun. but for me, after all those fun and excitement, it still boil down to one question.
where will i be for my first three months?

i am freakingly down now. my mind is whirling about where i am going to be in february next year. i just wish it will turn out the way i want, but still my heart is broken too many times for me to hold any hopes.

my prayer,
let me have all the fun in the world,
then let my life ends...

2006-11-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

wishing for the impossible.

unbelievable but true. after around one month of mugging and isolating myself from the computer, i am back. gosh i can't describe how much i miss my computer. (hug my computer). this whole month has been a crazy one. with lots and lots of revision. for once, i actually feel that i am a hardworking boy.

mugging is boring. everyone knows that. but now it's all over. o level is over, i repeat, O LEVEL IS OVER. can you believe it? i still remember 16 days ago, in front of a calender...
"oh my god!! 16days to go!!" *frowns*
"but after that it's all over!!" *grins*
"but 16 days of mugging~" *roll eyes*
and with that, i dragged myself into my room and forced myself to study. let's not forget another person who managed to get me studying. yes i am talking about my mother.
please, she is asking me to get at least 9A1, which is practically impossible. don't tell me "nothing is impossible", since i only have 8 subjects(excluding chinese). seriously she should open her eyes wide and see that her son isn't that genius but more in the 'stupid' zone.

but still now that it's all over, i kind of miss it. considering the fact that i get to take 12 to school because of o level. 12 is nice, & it's even nicer to take 12 in the early morning, as there will be no one on the bus(excluding the bus driver). not only that, you can own the second deck of the bus all to yourself!! i just love empty bus with only me on board. even though it seems a bit freaking in the early morning, for i will be thinking that the bus driver is trying to kidnap me. LOL ok i know this is idiotic.

ok let's not talk about o level anymore, since i got the feeling i screwed up as usual. let's talk about something else. what about graduation? i know it's like one month ago, but hey i still have some photos to post and words to say. firstly i want to say a big "thank you" to my BN-MD friends. they have accompany me all these four years and i appreciate it very much. ( yes yes since jialing wasn't there when we took this photo, i cut and paste her face there. jialing should be so grateful to me LOL ;D ) let's not forget my ex-bn friends!! sheery kenneth chunpoh & szeyan!! i still remember the times i bullyed kenneth and chunpoh, szeyan being the mother(that was so chlidish), and crapping loads with sheery. especially to szeyan for writing 'love' letters to me. and sorry to sheery for not lenting her the stefanie sun cd :Pof course let's not forget my best english drama pals, tony and wyntrice. we had so so much fun time together during drama session. now that drama is over, i will miss it, and those fun times we had together. nevertheless we can always go visit out nice juniors and support them for their syf!! yeah~~~
lastly, i want to thank everyone in four modesty who have brighten up my day. thanks to all of you. i really will miss 4 modesty. good luck to you all and smiles always ;D

oh yes before anything else, let me show you all something amazing.two years ago ( three modesty )now ( four modesty )
two years ago, i stepped into 3modesty feeling nervous. but you all make me a part of the family. i made new friends, gained new experience because of you all.
you all made the innocent young kind sunthai grow up into the mature but still innocent kind and young at heart sunthai. thanks. ( actually the main motive of this paragraph is to praise myself ;D)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE ZHAOPEI!! she should be so happy that i actually spent time buying her a present and writing a letter to her. and i bet she is so glad with the present i gave her. LOL

ok let's move on to the next topic.
our next topic is... yes, mr leongchunkiat's dedication to me in the blog.
about those mistakes, yes i admit i was the one who made those pronunciation mistake. AND because if these few pronunciation mistakes, people around me like ck and adeline have been paying close attention to whatever i said, trying their utmost best to spot any mistakes. AND they are so generous enough to actually make a univarsunlet.brogspot for me. not only that, this act of "vote for univarsunlet.brogspot" has gain the supports of people (pearlyn, zhaopei and counting).
this is definitely not a good news to me, since i am the poor innocent victim in this incident. however, there's one thing i must make clear to everyone. ck's dedication to me made me sound like everything that come out of my mouth has error on it, which is so not true. what i am trying to say is that, sometimes when you get so engrossed in conversation, you tend to just blurt out some words without processing it through your brain to check the pronunciation. AND when i says "blurt out", i mean it's something i can't control. yes yes the conclusion is, it is a reflex action. hence you can't blame me for making those mistakes, it was just due to some carelessness and some lack of control due to high emotion.
come on everyone knows that my pronunciation isn't THAT bad, afterall i've brushed up my pronunciation skills during english drama session. when i am serious and composed, my pronunciation skills can be as great as the news broadcaster in BBC or CNA. MUHAHAS.
so is everyone clear about this incident? i hope everyone will pity this poor victim here who is being targeted by so many devils, instead of joining them in the making of "univarsunlet.brogspot". thanks

now that o level is over, i've so much things to do. i am so looking forward to tomorrow. and saturday too. even though ck pearlyn disagree on k box. *sobs* never mind i shall be nice and complement them. ( that will be one more neoprint from pearlyn and one more earthquake from ck ). chalet is next week and prom night is on 29. gosh so many things to do, so little time. for now, let's just wait for tomorrow to come, for i will be spending quality time with rikku ;D

to guanjie, thanks for the graduation presents.
to szeyan, thanks for those encouragment/love letters.
to adeline, thanks for calling me every now and then to ask me questions, it sort of help me to learn something new. continue calling me ok, so we can just crap ;D (don't forget my high school musical)
to ksy, do not forget to meet us at habourfront mrt at 1am tomorrow. LOL
to zhaopei,ck,pearlyn,woonhwee, i am not sure if this is a 10000words post ( i don't think so ). but i am really tired now, so i'm just to lazy to count. you can go count it yourself. LOL
to fourmodesty, thankyou/

where am i, in your perfect life?
do you even realise that i'm alive?
will you miss me, like i miss you?
who am i, really to you?

get real, sunthai. and stop wasting your time, wishing for the impossible.

2006-10-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

everything's messed up

why is everything not going according to what i wanted?
i thought it will be the best day of my life.
i thought i will always remember this day.
but for some reasons, everything seemed to be going downhill. everything seemed to be going haywire.
i should not be there in the first place. strange & weird. something's not right. and that something seemed to be me. for once, i actually understood how he must have felt. i'm really sorry to have treated you unfairly in any way. it must be hard on you, for i can understood what you are going through.
i just wanted this day to be memorable, is it really that difficult to be fulfilled? why must all these incidents happen these recent weeks and caused all these unhappiness?
my dreams are dashed into million pieces.
i just hope everything will be the same again. i don't want everything to end in this way, i want a happy memory, please...

thanks to zhaopei & chunkiat for accompanying me.
thanks to adeline for listening to me, hope it doesn't add on to your burden.

i really do not understand, what is happening to us.
does the pain exist behind every truth & reality?

2006-10-12T22:33:00.000+08:00

what will become
of you & me?

Deal with problems straight up & face-to-face. Don't let a jealous friend or a sneaky pal bring you down. Instead, confront them & talk things out. True friendship isn't based on envy & greed, it's built on trust & care. Keep this in mind, it could be time for you to find a new posse.

what's my accomplishments?
nothing.
i wonder how it will all turn out...

2006-10-07T23:16:00.000+08:00

hazy future...

for goodness sake, if this freaking haze doesnt disappear in a week, i am so going to start studying environmental management, especially air pollution, instead of tourism for elective geog. what's the use of studying tourism, thinking of ways to improve tourism industry, when it is going to be affected by natural disasters like haze?
This haze has been causing me headache & eye irritation for some idiotic reasons. argh~~how i wish i could invent a super duber huge fan to blow this stupid haze away~ but come to think about it, wouldn't i blow away the nation too?? dangs~~

on second thought, doesnt the nation get the hint that the haze has been trying to tell us all long?? no, not "stop polluting the air!!", but "close school!!". yesyes that would be so much better. looking at the television screen, the PSI shows 145. does that mean that our wishes are going to be fulfilled? once the PSI reaches 150, we will be spending our time at home studying comfortably, instead of having to go to skool exhaustingly every morning and attend boring/unconducive lessons. yeah!!~~

ok enough of complaining of the haze.
i want to change my blogskin again. however, because my skill in changing blogskin isn't that great, this had resulted in me staring at the template, thinking what i should do. okayy this is really stupid. if someone with the name 'ck' is to see this, he will be telling me to ask for his help, so that he can leave his credits on my blog again. gosh i should really learn how to change blogskin and be independant..
revision has been kind of stagnant these few days, due to the fact that i'm feeling really lethargic. sometimes i just wish that god will make the night longer, so late sleepers like me will not be dead tired every single day. owell...

2 missions in my hand: studies & diet/

[jialing][pearlyn] see that ck? all of us can vouch that u promise me after one month i could take that credits off. LOL. thanks for supporting me, my fans~~
[cecilia] hey thanks alot for believing in me. i will try my best!!

define true friendship for me, wont you?

2006-10-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

fly off with you;

dangs this have been a busy weekend. & that's not because of studying. that's because graduation day is coming & we're in the mist of preparing gifts for our dearest tchers. spent 13hrs in shawn house on saturday studying a tiny bit & preparing the class video. spent our night time in shawn's playroom chit-chatting, playing, fooling around. didnt even realise it was already 10.45pm when we ended, which is freakingly late for me. reached eunos mrt with shiyun woonhwee at 11.30pm, waited for taxi for half an hour, give sy & wh ride home & reach my home at 12.30am. i thought i'll be so darn grounded for life, but luckily i appeared to be trying my utmost best to reach hm asap, hence mum forgave me( PHEW!~ ).
*note that i bolded all the timing so as to emphasize how much time i sacrificed to make the tcher's gifts :D that's shawn's dog, whisky. except for its scary eyes( it's like a white golf ball with a small black dot on it ), it's generally a nice, cute, furry dog! not only that it's very smart & will listen to what glen( shawn's bro ) said such as sit, paw, down.. isn't that amazing~~~
*note that i never mention shawn, for whisky doesnt really listen to shawn's commands.
oh ya did i mention my camera phone's 'health' is deteriotating, its camera function is weakening day by day! i mean the photo that it captured wasnt as sharp & clear as before. darn it, just when i need it to capture the last few memories we had together before we separate, haix~~

was at home the whole sunday not because of studying, BUT i was doing the class vid. argh~ i'm sacrificing so much of my precious time to do this video, you all better thank me for it.
went out with zy ade ck zp zz to study at national library today, which i proudly finish my ss essays. after which we went orchard for window-shopping & did something special at far east plaza. omg i got so many things i want to buy after o's, but my money supply is depleting at an alarming rate. gosh~ i better start saving now!!

somehow, i feel a sense of foreboding. is history gonna repeat itself again? i just hope everything will turn out all right for me.

taggs replies/~
[jialing] thanks alot, i wont be so sad animore! cheerup & you jiayou too :)
[cyan] =D
[ck] i'm not rich ok, i'm just trying to save $ for prom lehh. also the credit's gone becuz yr one month limit is over :P

am i really gonna be all right?
am i going to do fine?
why don't i feel secure?
i'm really worried...

2006-09-29T15:55:00.000+08:00

recovery in progress.

goshgosh~ i am feeling more & more slackish as days go by. i must really buck up. i wont want to get a L1R5 that will ruin my future.
it still hurts alot. demoralising, depleting my confidence & more. i cant forget about those disappointments, & i know it's useless dwelling over it since i cant change anything. but still, i need some time to recover, to become me agn. i know my dull, sad, shedding-tears face have really affected some of you all, so i'm really sorry. i can sense all of your concern, asking me to cheer up. but i guess i'm just too down right devastated. if my emotions ever affect you all agn, u all can just ignore me & leave me alone. i wont mind, for i know it's my fault. rest assure that i will regain myself in a few hour or two days at most, & really thanks alot for those concern, they mean alot to me.

went out with zp ade & ck to buy something that is long over due. spent around 2 hours in Carls' junior playing "truth & truth" with qns like 'rate your rumoured partners','who do u wan to ask out for prom nitex' & 'on a scale of 0 to 100, rate yourself'. DANGS, but still it's kinda fun, considering the facts that we learnt more about each other( well sort of ).
it happens on others so often,
yet seems so impossible to occur on me.
am i jealous or wad? yeah maybe.

oh btw i bought stefanie sun's new album 'my story, your song'. not the one with only 2CDs of 32 songs inside, BUT the special edition with 4CDs of 61 songs + DVD (over one & half hours) + 100 pages picture book of stefanie. i'm so happy i got this album, although it costs $48 ( heart-break sia ) as it's a extra special edition, it's still worth it lahh. =) & 'yu tian'( rainy day ) is really nice!!
owell gonna mug hard for o's. jiayou everyone

just when i thought it's all over,
everything is gonna start again.
friendship are fragile & complicated,
& the 'wind' is gonna blow us apart again.

one problem after another.
guess i'm just really tired with these thing.
twice in a week, consecutive days. i am really pathetic.
blame myself.

2006-09-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

back to square one;

i can't take these anymore.
all those strong & happy fronts i've been putting up.
they are breaking down, all at a time.
but thanks aniwae~

i told myself not to appear weak in front of you.
but i guess i could not control it anymore.
i cant be happy all the time, i'm a human too.
there're times i broke down.

i know wad's going thru all your mind,
crying over "these things", to think i'm so weak.
but let me tell you,
my future literally depends of "these things".
unlike you all who have other things to depend on.
i'm not like you all ok, i've got nothing else. except for "these things"

2006-09-25T21:30:00.000+08:00

what's.friendship&love.to.you?

a short post. just realized i'm so into blogging this few days. guess i really need a platform to vent my anger, my disappointment, a place for me to reflect all my actions i did in a day...

results were devastating, as usual. My english deproved drastically. i dun mind failing my paper 2 which i know i will. i dun mind getting a mark which is below my expectation for my paper 1. but i just mind so much about my oral marks. argh~~ i am so so pissed off with my oral marks!! it pulled down my overall marks by alot. argh~~ not that i can do anything now to change my english mark. even if there's moderation, it's futile for me. owell~ guess i'll have to depend on my higher chinese mark, as usual~
till now. none of the results i got are at or ab0ve my expectation, which is saddening. AND demoralising for me. haix~ guess it's back too more revising for me. first stop- biology. somehow VJC seems so far away from me, literally & non-literally if u know wad i mean...

looking around, i see many different kinds of emotions. some are happy getting their results, some are just plain sad by their marks, some are crying, some are scolding vulgarities. all kinds of emotions expressed differently. just wanna say, thanks for all those comforts you all gave. i cherished it alot. & to those who are in the plain sad + crying(a few tears) state as me, guess there's nothing we can do, but maybe spend some time breaking down, & regain your composure to fight the battle.
something wad we need is not words of comfort & console.
wad we need is someone to fully understd wad we're feeling, wad we're thinking.

taggs replies/~
[pearlyn] yeah~ no more LCK's credits on my blog!! & the template problem is actually the same prob i had the previous time. haix.
[ck] u officially got the 'dreaming too much' illness. does that guy in the poster look like john tucker in the 1st place?
[jialing] ok i gonna ask ck wad's maluater! & i know wad's the meaning of versatile liao! Clever me=)
[tony] dun like tat say. every class got its own story. & oh gosh another supporter of that poster! i really shld consider making poster as my occupation for so many ppl like the poster i made!!!

it's difficult forgetting you, so i'm just placing you somewhere deep in my heart.
i dunnoe how things are gonna work out between us.
but just let fate do its thing.
i'm too tired of all these.

2006-09-24T04:54:00.000+08:00

hopeless/

had decided to stop my "post a picture for every post" basic. i mean it's kinda making my blog very very messy & unorganised, which is so not me. i will still post photos/pictures occasionally.

i'm rotting at home everyday. playing games like O2 jam & audition which will result in me having headache in the end. got the urge to go ecp or sentosa & just have fun the whole day, but come to think of it, O's level is just around 20 days away. man just when i'm starting to relax, i have got to start revising again. did i mention revising just sucks so much? especially when u decide to finish revising this topic within one hour, but in the end you couldn't because you're stuck at some stupid(a.k.a difficult) questions, thinking about the solutions. ARGH~ i just hate that kind of situation!!

dun feel like going to skool this whole week. hello~ we're getting back all our results by this week~ for people like me who're unable to handle the many shocks i'll get when i look at my devastating marks. which i almost can confirm i will. i'm just too afraid to get back my papers. my mid-year exam was like already saddening for me. if my prelim is to be worst than my mid-year... gosh i wonder wad i will do. owell looks like tomolo i MUST start revising. AGAIN~

i failed my eng p2. which is nth surprising for me for i knew i will. my chinese p1 was all right, though it was below my expectation. my physic & biology practical paper was hell. i wonder wad kind of results i will recieve tml. HELL or HEAVEN??
gosh~ i'm toking rubbish in this post. lolx

taggs replies/~~
[cyan]- aiyo must wait patiently mahh. like that rushed me i write also meaningless. so must wait until after o's den i write a long meaningful letter for u mahh.
[yinghui]- i know u tried yr best too so stay happy =)
[huisi]- duhh~~ i will lurve S.H.E forever & ever. no matter wad.
[ly]- liangyu ritex? thanks for sayin tat LCK pic look cool. i made it one. lolx. & yepp cameron is pretty & hot!!
[jialing]- another supporter of that LCK poster!! which i made!! izzit me or is my eng deproving. wad does maluater & versatile mean? LOL

i really miss those days. when we're having so much fun together.
but i guess those are the pasts. & will always stay as the pasts.
for you've changed. really changed alot.

2006-09-21T13:49:00.000+08:00

utter disappointment;

so prelim is finally over, in a flash. but i feel no sense of security.
a maths p2 was a goner. & to think i was hoping to depend on it. since my a maths p1 was disaster too. 20 over marks flew away from my p2 just like that. the answer was just in front of me. yet i still could not get it.
what do u call this? pure stupidity. pure dumbness.
even though i had done revision, practised umpteen times, i still feel as if i had done nth at all. i feel so empty. worthless, i am. when i get back my results, i'm gonna crack.
i'm gonna buck up for now on. i'm not gonna disappoint myself in o's lvl.
i'm gonna stay strong, & be happy always; at least i hope so...

2006... a new pop group has emerged, & they are S.A.C, with members Sunthai, Adeline & Chunkiat!! they shall be following the footstep of the famous pop grp S.H.E & will take the whole music industry by storm! watch out for them!& let's not forget bout the movie "LeongChunKiat Must Die!" which will be showing starting tmolo. starring pearlyn ng, adeline yong, leong chunkiat, lee zhaopei & eunice kuah, this movie is an enjoyable teen revenge comedy with strong performance & a likeable script which will offer plenty of laughs.... lolx =) [i spend around one hour doing this 'poster' ok. ] when we're back to normal, we just act like every other normal teenagers, laughing & talking craps at swensens. plus mixing juice blended with crayfish, pepper, salt AND my special fluid. HAHAS. & one lesson learnt today: i'm gonna lower the frequency of the pitch of my laughter. HAHAS!!

p.s: thanks cyan for those "love" letters!!! & thanks those who support & encourage me this few weeks. love ya lots ;) also...
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO PEARLYN & KEWEI =D

taggs replies~~;
[yinghui] u takecare too. & must be strong worr. JIAYOU!
[pearlyn] yeap maybe u're ritex, our life is ok. & congrats for being the member of st pool skills rocks fanclub!!
[zhaopei] hahax i also got pray for u ok. i'm so nice. i prayed u wld disappear. HAHAS. no lahh. wish u good luck of course...
[sheery] u must jiayou too!
[cyan] i will write u lurve letter after o's! a long long one!! happy muggin too & thanks agn:)
[tony] thanks. i will try to focus. although it's kinda hard.. lol
[ck] updated. & u're the 2nd member of st pool skills rocks fanclub!! yeah~~~

i'm want to cry away all those memories we had together`
yet it is impossible. for everytime u pass by me.
those memories just came flooding into my mind...

hence i'm not gonna cry. i'm not gonna act innocent & weak in front of you.
because of these feelings for you, i choose to walk a different path.

we all have our own life. our own dream to pursue.
even if u don't care bout me, or hate me,
from the other side of the world, i'm still gonna hope that u're happy in yr world.
for we're friend. once...

2006-09-11T14:27:00.000+08:00

woolala~~ good morning angels!!!

yaryar. prelim starts tmolo & it will be a whole two weeks of crazy studying before it ends. AND a few days of relaxing before O's start. so basically it's going to be a studying mission: full throttle. lol

& after like million years, charlie's angel: full throttle was finally shown on channel 5!! i was around the whole singapore literally trying to find the vcd but to no avail. so yepp would not miss it for anything. it was amazing & the angels are such a kick-ass. WOO. (esp. my cameron & lucy~~) they are the best. just wish there will be a third season or something. i cant just cant enuff of these hot angels!!
ALERT : while watching the angels on tv, it means 2 hours of revising gone.

so tmolo are emaths p1 & ss. both which are argh~~~hopeless to me?? not to mention i didnt done much revising on both subjs for i was on amaths spree today AND waiting for someone for three eternity hours & enduring ppl's stare as if i had stolen their seats( which i sort of indirectly did ) just because that someone was late & didnt reply my msg to inform me about anything.

conversation_
cyan asked: are you ok? i meant your blog.. (look depressing)
i replied: yar sure...(?)

xinyi asked: how you going?
i replied: good... still hanging on to life.
xinyi asked: life not treating you good?
i replied: sort of.

was i ever okayy in the first place? that depend on how u define "ok".
if "ok" means a perfect life with everything going smooth & you having everything your way...
that my answer will be a simple "no". cuz life will never be like that.
since life aint gonna be perfect. i might as well try my utmost best to try find happiness in my imperfect life.
i'm looking things in a more open-minded way. yar there are still times where my heart hurts because of the same old trivial things( family, studies, friends matters), but i just gonna accept it. there are other things i can smile on. other friends i still can rely on. so i will never give up for the sake of them. i know that there will always be someone beside me, supporting me. even if i may not notice it.

everyone has their own life they gonna live. even if they are not by your side 24/7, u know they are inside your heart. they know you are in their heart. we all know that no matter wad happen, we will be under the same vast sky.
when you're stressed, just look at the vast blue sky, & know that there're someone under the same sky, remembering you, supporting you.
when you're free, just look at the vast blue sky, & say a prayer for your friends. for no matter how distant they're, they will recieve your prayer, knowing that you still remember them.
( i did that occasionally, sincerely hope u all recieve my wishes )

life is difficult.
i am learning to accept some facts. that each of us has a life to live on...

2006-09-02T13:34:00.000+08:00

the REALITY.FACTS.TRUTH
& the HAPPY ENDING.

i was always so uneasy that i was shaking,
hugging my knees in the corner of my room.
i was afraid of knowing the "truth",
and closed the door to it.

through a gentle lie, i found my place,
taking refuge in my dreams.
no one knows of the lonely sea,
being dye a deep blue colour,
hiding my loneliness.
with sincere emotions, i wounded your heart.

i seem to be drawn in by the secret in your eyes.
i'll draw out the truth behind your smile with the warmth of love.
with a touch, the seemingly fragile warmth will break free from the past and overflow.
because you're always by my side,
the shadow of loneliness will no longer lead me astray.

i want to know the truth.
yet i know that it hurts.
i want a happy ending.
yet i know it doesn't exist.

u treated those words as a joke.
u thought i would not mind.
but NO.
i mind a whole lot. & it hurts alot.

2006-08-31T11:33:00.000+08:00

wowowow~
sunthai has changed his blogskin!
if you are wondering who am i, wonder no more for im going to tell u in a few seconds time.
before i do, can i just add that this skin is really not bad and ~~sadly~~ happily, i conclude st has gd taste.
but somehow he has failed to decipher the html code and yes, leading to a 'disillusionised' blogskin.
oh what am i saying?
so st cleverly turned to people for help. and god is on sunthai's side. he found *you-know-who*
in case u hadn't notice, it's me.
ahem~ ok. so within 10 mins (actually less) i figured out the problem and ta-da here's the perfected blogskin! cool ehs!
hahas. i bet by now u guys should knw who am i. in case you are that S*****D please visit this blog (put cursor over the phrase "this blog") for more details.
cheers and enjoy!

2006-08-27T15:44:00.000+08:00

`sorting out my thoughts

friends.-
'friends' is something i regard with affection and trust.
'friends' is something that is really precious to me.
'friends' is something that i cherish alot.
but...
'friends' is also the something that ~
disappoint me.
cause me misery.
make my mind run wild. umpteen times.

& i thought finding a true friend is easy.
i thought that all i need is be honest.
trust & love them sincerely.
support them to the very end.
i was so wrong....

conclusion:
"friends' is something that is really fragile.
it can break anytime without warning.
& once it breaks, the crack will stay there. forever.
in all, you will have to depend on yrself. no matter wad...

ok enuff of blaming others. time to lecture myself...

me.-(toking to myself)
u deserve this consequences.
u are the one who treated 'friends' like your world.
if u wont so depend-ful on 'friends'
maybe u would be leading a much happier life now.
& what makes u think that it was really 'friends' that cause u misery or wadeva.
maybe it's because of you.
maybe you are the one that cause everything to end up this way.
it could be your attitude.
it could be your actions.
it could be your personality.
it could be your everything...
you can't blame 'friends' for changing. you have to blame yrself you irritating stupid idiotic loud annoying heartless egoistic vain bhb acbc pest.

on the other hand,
why are u torturing yourself??
it may not be your fault.
people do change because of many factors.
you cant control how people live.
just believe that nothing has to do with you.
even if 'friends' change,
u are not involved in it at all.
u are absolutely not the one that resulted in this.
if u really want to blame it on someone.
blame it on 'friends'
they are the one who change.
so u are just a innocent party...

on the other other hand.
it still could be my freaking fault that cause my own loneliness,
but on the other other other hand.
it may not be my bad. as their changes may have nothing to do with me...
(& this goes on & on & on...)

tok bout my life. it kinda sux like hell ritex.
yeah i know wad're u all thinking.
'u think life sux just because of this small little thing'
u wont understd. cause no one try to understd.
u may be thinking i may just imagining too much...
well it could be. maybe nothing had really happen.
maybe everything is still the same as the past.
but let me tell you. NOTHING stay the same.
everything changes as time past by.
damnit. i'm really tired of this.

prelims & o'lvl are just around the corner.
may not be blogging for quite a while.
may not be online for a long time.
may even be abandoning this blog.

but who will care about it??
nobody cares.
only i care. [for some reason. i got a gut feeling it's all my fault i have cause on these 'separation']

2006-08-26T10:36:00.000+08:00

breaking down... soon

o'lvl english oral was like a disaster. i dun even know what happen to me on that day.
i know that my oral results haven been good all along. achieving a 26 for last yr EOY exam & a pathetic idiotic 24 for prelim oral. maybe it's because of these 'achievements' that have been bugging for that whole afternn.
that was the first time in my whole life i break down literally. maybe i was worrying too much. maybe i was too nervous. maybe i was just having too much thoughts loaded in my brain(which is the highest possibility). but wadeva the reason is. i just could not control my tears.

yepp. i cried. or maybe shed a few tears. pathetic ritex?
yarr. totally pathetic. to be freaking out at the last minutes.
imagining me getting the 20-range result for my o'lvl oral. which totally frightened me.
i tried to get a hold of myself.
luckily i didnt cried out loud. i had to control myself. i could not just lost myself at this point of time.

looking at others brimming with confidence.
looking at others achieving excellent results.
looking at others mugging hard.
damnit. i feel like nothing. i feel worthless.

prelims. den o'lvl.
this period of time is the most crucial.
i am trying my utmost best to do something.
but for some reason...
i always end up feeling i had done nothing...
i am already losing the battle.

u said those words with such ease.
u dun even care bout my feelings the least.
i care bout you. but do you even care bout me?
come to think about it.
nobody cares bout me in the first place.
i am living in all of your blind spots.
where nobody can notice me.
i am all alone. aferall.

4 modesty video(demo version)...

2006-07-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

mixed-up feelings.

i can't define this feeling i am experiencing now. i don't even know what i am feeling. it's a complicated & "suffocating" feeling, that's all i can say.
i don't even understd myself nowadays. i don't even know myself. when i look into the mirror. i don't see the real me. i see another person. a person who has no emotion on his face. a person who has been thinking too much. a person whose simple dreams/hopes/wishes have been dashed. a person on the verge of losing his mind. becuz of all these imaginations.

it hurts to think so much. it has cause me to insomnia almost every night, spending around an hour reflecting bout everything. i try to stop it. but it's impossible. it's as if my imagination has its own will. i can't control it. it's against its will.

i'm getting tired being the perfect person. i tried my utmost best to be the best. to be a likeable guy. i don't want anyone to hate me or anything. for it will get me thinking," what is it i have done wrong?"
but sometimes it's to no avail. my imagination just start losing control on a tiny hint of hatred, whelther it's for real or not. just wanna say. my apologises for anything i have done wrongly. sincerely.
if i could read minds. maybe i could avoid all these, & accept the reality.

i don't even know what is it i truely want. maybe in balance in everything. in studies. family friendship. however i know it's almost impossible for me to achieve it. something will be blocking on my path, for sure.

i missed everything.
communication is on a breakdown. almost everything is breaking down.
maybe it's just my imagination(as usual).
but if it's for real.
i will apologise no matter what.
even if it's not my fault.
just let me apologise. it helps. somehow.

those sorrow songs. got me on the verge of crying
those joyful songs. doesn't even come close in making me smile.
i'm in the world of imagination now. all alone.
just wanna say. thanks for everything you all have done before. sincerely
lurve you all... ...

2006-07-22T11:15:00.000+08:00

Confused & Guilty

i am feeling better than yesterday. at least i think so. there's still some debris of yesterday left inside my heart.
& now i am feeling not blue. but confused & guilty. a strange mixed feelings between these two. guess i will need a few days to really either settle or forget bout all these. settle would be nicer solution. as forgetting will take forever.

the best thing that happened today...*S.H.E FOREVER~

yepp. i'm really happy that i finally got it =) all of them seems to become more mature-looking & prettier. but still my favourite is HEBE <33>

life's full of twist. you will have to find a way out yrself...
life's is confusing. you will have to settle it yrself...

2006-07-21T11:48:00.000+08:00

feeling blue today

it felt as if i am being shunned at.
it felt as if i am drifting from everything i had ever came in contact with.
it felt as if i am irritating & annoying.
it felt as if i am just an extra...

maybe i am just thinking too much. but sometimes all those actions & expressions just sort of confirmed how i think.

if it's real. it's not their faults. it's probably my fault. maybe i have changed. towards the worst. hence causing all these driftings.

even if it's just my imagination & not for real. it's still all my doings. my wild imaginations causing all these. nothing to do with others.

i really don't want to associate all these thinkings with anyone. i don't want to blame others of these. it will just worsen my imagination. & not solving it. i cant handle too much of these at a time.

sorry if today i seemed out & down during most of the times. for some reason the minute i stepped into the class. somethingS caught my eyes & i plunged into these wild thinking whirlpool as usual. i looked listless & down today. but that's because i'm thinking. really thinking bout these feelings. all of wild thoughts were just rushing into my mind. to those that felt i was unusual today. i'm sorry. i did try to get back to normal asap. but it was to no avail.

all these thinkings ended when close to dismissal. but i wasn't because i solved the problems. it was because i put these feelings into the back of my mind. i know it's not the best solution. for these feelings may just explode & i will start thinking again. but there's no other ways any all.

21july2006(tomolo)
Shawn's birthday!!!

& there's racial harmony amazing race tmolo. i was excited bout it in the first place. but after all these i am feeling today. i am just feeling dull & blue now.

i'm feeling blue today.
real blueish~

2006-07-11T13:20:00.000+08:00

empty.l0st.

another whole passed by in a flash. & i'm still l0st in my own world.
3 more months & o' level begin. & i'm still not starting to prepare.

world cup's finally over. & Italy won. everyone was like hoping Italy will win. but thinking France will win. & in the end Italy is the champ. was kinda shocked cuz i was placing my bet on France. oh well~ not that i'm inside this world cup fever...after all. when world cup ends. it will implies more ppl staying awake on class X)

dsa audition today was a disaster. literally. my heart was pounding like hell on the way to tj. not that i'm placing alot of hope in getting into tj. in fact was actually thinkin my chance are like. really really slim. but naturally i will feel nervous. real nervous.

& the audition with me coming out of the audi sighing, shaking my head, cursing myself. i know i did badly. i know i could have done better. much more better. but no use crying over spilled milk. at most i can just keep cursing myself. oh well i'm feeling so... empty. l0st. dunnoe which direction i shld be going now...

musical competition is this friday. & i'm still not really prepared. there's still two more rehearsal before the real thing. after the musical competition we'll be stepping down. kinda sad. we had really lots of fun during eds session. now i will actually miss going eds session. go those laughters & fun we have. to all my juniors. continue rawking eds ok?

this sunday going shawn's hse for "studying". 21st july is someone birthday. & i haven even buy the present yet. because of my busy schedule . plus 29 july is big walk organised by jenna for everyone. life's getting busier with all these catching up with friends before o' level... cant imagine my life after graduation.

esp i'm hoping sunday will arrive faster. i really excited in going shawn's hse to play FF X-2. my new addiction!! that game totally rox & has spark my desire to buy a ps2 & play the game. & i am totally going head over heels in this gurl that appear in the game... Rikku!!

she's cute. fun-loving. adorable. humourous. enthusiastic.out-going. kind. helpful. active. cheerful. funny

she's everything i wanted.

she's my Dream Gurl*drools*

if a gurl like this really exist in this world. i will be woo-ing her ritex now~
-dangs i sound so perverted-

tomolo there's pe lesson again. which i predict will be free time XD
& as usual i need to go skool earlier to draw my prawn-.-

2006-07-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

so much for an earthquake~

day started with me shawn ben wh zz eating in kopitiam for lunch. den a trip to arcade. after which ade arrived & the lan game began. hours later zp reached & we have neoprints. which ben caused a havoc inside the machine. pushing me out of the screen twice & blocking zp & zz face once. dangs. while he had his face pasted in every neoprint shoots.

& shawn is being super nice 2dae. finally make up his mind to treat us for an earthquake. he was actually only treating us to a REGULAR earthquake. but we managed to change it into a GIANT earthquake X) hoorayy~~

well to be more exact hooray for the rest. not for me. for the earthquake was eaten up by the rest while i was preparing for the photo shoot for us...
happy photo shooting~~ but when i finished taking photo & was happily going back to eat my share of earthquake. i got this~~~
i shall call this... "the remains of an earthquake". & i ate less than 10 mouthful of earthquake. the rest was gone in a matter of time eaten by them. hence had to order a 'gold rush' to satisfy my desire of ice cream-.- overall time spent in swensen happily with shawn sharing his food. zz tackling his HUGE burger with difficulty. me in the spotlight waterfall-ing & more=) Just some more pics of pretty gurls & handsome boys(esp the one on utmost rightXP)

fun day ended with with me ben wh ade being secret agents following shawn & zz who were on an secret mission. which in the end the secret agents once agn saved the day!!

ain't gonna tok much 2dae. pictures say a thousand words. that's wad they say. there's skool tmolo. which began with a fun PE lesson. & followed by brain-cells-using lessons -.-

2006-06-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

What' s happening to me?

yoyo i'm back. though u cant heard me. i sound ultra tired. super tired. falling asleep in class is becoming one of my hobbies. & teachers are obviously not sparing us by giving us tons of homeworks everyday. & i'm staying back everyday in skool to finish up the hw or revise. as i know that i cant do all these at my home.

but it proved effective staying in skool doing hw as i managed to finish hw & learn sth in the end. which is sth that wont happened to me if i stay at home & do hw.

oh ya. my bdae passed by in a flash. with lots of happiness & laughter. i am one year old. more mature, more sensible, more responsible, more adorable X) hahax aniwae million~ oh nope. BILLION thanks to all of you! ck pearlyn kj pearly eun ksy zy shawn ade cl zp zz ben liyin wynne hweekee jane qianni ziping shiyun woonhwee xiumin sheery edna angeline gj everyone. hope i nv miss out anyone, thanks agn <3

rashes are appearing all over my body. which is of course not a good news. most are concentrated around the upper body. esp the arm & neck region. while some few are at the leg region. ok fine maybe i shldnt be discribing so specifically. but since it's the first time in my whole life i got rashes. which are so darn irritating. argh. they get 'activated' at night or when i'm sweating & become itchy. darn it when will they disappeared for goodness sake!!

another bad new. apparently i got wisdom tooth. one small little adorable tooth is appearing & growing at the rear of my teeth. i could see it clearly. it's not helping in anything other than applying pressure on my healthy pinky gum. ouch it's kinda hurt when i chew. & after hearing story bout wisdom tooth from both pearlyn eunice & ck. i began panick & search for info bout wisdom tooth. here's what i found out...

The Wisdom teeth are the large molars at the end of each line of teeth - there is one Wisdom tooth at the end of each row - therefore there are 4 in total.
Wisdom teeth are the last permanent teeth to develop. They appear in the mouth between the ages of 18-24 years and may develop in the jaw but never erupt or appear in the mouth.

Many people have their wisdom teeth removed under local anaesthesia by a general dentist or oral surgeon. This means that they are awake, but the area around the wisdom tooth is completely numb.

To remove the wisdom tooth, your dentist will open up the gum tissue over the tooth and take out any bone that is covering the tooth. He or she will separate the tissue connecting the tooth to the bone and then remove the tooth. Sometimes the dentist will cut the tooth into smaller pieces to make it easier to remove.

& here's what i conclude...

wth am i gonna really going to go thru this operation? even if they numb me during the operation. when the numbness disappeared i will still be able to feel the extreme pain again ritex. and bleeding for 24 hr. plus biting a cotton wool betwn my mouth. PLUS having my face swollen like a pig for round 2 weeks. OMG! how am i gonna handle all these? according to my research. the wisdom tooth need not be extracted if it's not causing any problems like pericoronitis, swelling and redness of the gum & more.

all these sound incredibly terrible to me. dentist is one of my most hated person in the world. & now i'm gonna ask the dentist to remove my wisdom tooth without a choice. great. just great.

*pray* to my dear little wisdom tooth. pls dun cause any troubles problems to me. this year is my o' level year & i dun wan to come back to skool looking like a swollen pig. trying to relieve the pain in my mouth while struggling to study in class. please not let these all happen to me. please~~

rashes, wisdom tooth, what's next?? i'm prepared for it ~

2006-06-22T06:48:00.000+08:00

sometimes thing just turns out UNexpectedly.

ok three days of waking up EARLY & sleeping LATE are causing me many troubles. i am getting more & more 'dead' now. i could be practically dreaming while playing on the computer. my panda eyes & eyebags are becoming more & more serious. making me looking like a walking zombie. the main point is. i am getting more & more lethargic.

& physic practical yesterday was fine. although i could predict i will did badly. wad wasn't fine yesterday was the chem remedial. it was basically boring & useless. SHE came in wearing shirt & short meant for auntie shopping in the wet market, & start the 'explaining', stopping occasionally to talk grdmother's story. complain or talk on the phone. *roll eyes*

& apparently 2dae performance in the prelim round was good. which got us into the final. the judge just said"we'll see u in the final" out of the blue & we were like *blink eyes* so does that mean we got in? guess we were kinda surprised as we didnt expect to got into the final with our lame musical~~~ hahax.

& yepp we got in. we were happy. although that'll mean more session for the brushing up of the singing & dancing part till the final which is 14th july. then went k-box with cecilia tony xinyi wengfeng yinghui aaron. it was fun to a certain extent. for xinyi kept singing oldies songs from the 50-60 century. which we all dunnoe. she was singing there happily while we were like fainting...

it's ZhiYu's & Sheery's Birthday. Happy birthday =)
& yesterday was HweeKee Birthday. happy bdae agn X)

gtg. for my e geog & ss are still lying on the table. looking at me pitifully.waiting for me to finish them-.-

2006-06-16T15:15:00.000+08:00

wad i need. is SELF CONTROL

hello. back after 10 days of no blogging. i know u all miss me. but i was actually testing out myself how long can i restrain myself from blogging. i know it's lame. but was like lookin at other ppl's blog & realize they could not blog like for a month. hence try it out myself. i even post some videos. hoping 2 entertain all my readers for some times.

but apparently it did not work out. seem like no one took times 2 look at those adorable videos. oh well & here i am agn. blogging.

holidays flashed by real fast. one more week. & skool's life back.

shall list out wad i did during holidays. easy 2 read listing for the sake of all your eyes =)

____________________________________________________________
1) Great Singapore Sale(GSS)
ok fine i admit i'm getting into the GSS-fever more & more each year.
Good: lurve the feeling when i got wad i want. & with discount. guess is all these discounts that got ppl spending money.
bad: even with all these discount. my wallet still painful sia. wad's the diff betwn buying a few un-discounted products & buying alot discounted products? in the end. your wallet become lighter. it's kind of contradicting. first minute u wld be so happy buying. nxt minutes u wld be crying looking at your skinny wallet.
& it's kind of devastated going out shopping & not buying anything in the end. i've been through it b4. u went out smiling shopping. but in the end u came home with empty hand~~ disappointment.
i mean, the objective of shopping is to go out 2 spot if there's anything u adore AND cash it. of course unless u didnt spot anything u like or u didnt bring cash. -.-

2) Drama
one last performance b4 we sec 4 stepped down. & our last play is a musical. yepp u will be seeing us singing. dancing. acting. three in one play. a musical. & of all the characters. i will be playing an eccentric role. diaos~~~
prelim round is like nxt week 21st of june. & we are rushing like mad. but it was FUN. hahax. had lots of fun with all my eds frenz. aniwae really hope we can pass the prelim round & go in2 finals. everyone let's do our best okayy? JIAYOU X)
*practising my singing & dancing now*

3) outing
didnt really go out so often this holidays. there're only 2 simple reasons
reason 1: mummy nagging. ever since i came home late twice from steamboat outing. she have been nagging me. discouraging me 2 go out. threatening me not 2 go out. yaya you get the idea ritex
reason 2: guess everyone including me is kinda busy. with all these holiday homeworks. or preparation for cca performance like co nitex. or studying at home 2 make up the bad results obtained in MYE. o' level is coming nearer. guess we shld start bucking up. which is sth that i haven do -.-

4) holidays homeworks
with the computer distracting me. i cant concentrate on doing my hw. i know the deadline is getting nearer.
amaths- done. emaths-done. chemistry-done. english-done. and the rest- 'are still unwritten'
planning 2 finish physic by this week. den will spend my whole last week concentrating on e geog which i did badly in MYE & my ss.
but judging at the rate of spd of doing hw. i'm in deep trouble. really deep~~
___________________________________________________________________
ta-dah~ finish my listing.

aniwae just speak with my senior recently. here's part of the conversations. (from wad i can rmb)

me: haix still got holis hw undone. den also haven start studying yet
senior: you siao arh. must start studying now liao. when yr prelim?
me: august?
senior: that like give u round six week left 2 study. u got 8 subj to study. if u count. u only like have five day 2 study for a subj. u tink enuff mehh?
me: but i still got all these holis hw..
senior: dun care those holis hw liao. must start studying liao.

which got me tinking agn~

i really do need self control. b4 the holis i was like telling myself.
"i'm gonna use the june holis 2 revise my triple sci & humanities."
but in the end. all these are still undone. got distracted by computer game. GSS. television. many things. disappointed with myself. all these promises i made with myself. all broken. wish i could have the o' level fever now. not the world cup fever. so i could just study day & nitex without ever complaining grumbling.

On that special day. 9 days from now. i will wish for~
self control. yepp. i would wish for that.

2006-06-04T14:30:00.000+08:00

SORRY 2 PEARLYN!!!! =(

I almost got it. yet i missed it again. i missed the chance twice. i was so close in getting it. but everything turned out futile. but still i believe one day i will achieve it. i will get it. no matter wad...

[to pearlyn]
i'm so so sorry. it's not that you're not my friend you know. it's just that last night i was like tinkin of all the 20 ppl in my mind. den i stuck at the last few places. i feel like i missed out sth but i cant rmb. hence i just anyhow put. den 2dae morning when i was outside. i suddenly rmb i forgotten who. i missed out you. i felt so bad. so guilty!! just wan really faster go home & change. was really worried you might be upset or misunderstood anything. i was like wishing you haven seen my blog. but when i got home & saw you tagg on my blog & said that i missed out you. i was like 'oh shit'. although u said you dont mind. i still feel like i did the wrong bad thing.

just wanna tell you: SORRY 1000 times!! You're my HAO PENG YOU. GOOD FRIEND okayy?? i will change the quiz thingy. & will treat you 2 sth one. this is 2 amend for my mistakes. lastly. SORRY!!

2006-06-03T13:19:00.000+08:00

interesting~~

(found this interesting cool quiz in pearlyn's blog. Thanks 2 PEARL'YN XD)
Name 20 ppl you can think of right now at the top of your head. Ready, 123 GO!

1) Jane Tan
2) Shawn
3) ChunKiat
4.) Adeline
5) Eunice
6) Chialing
7) Yap Huat
8) Xiu Min
9) Woon Hwee
10) Zhaopei
11) Ksy
12) Benedict
13) Zhiyu
14) Shiyun
15) Tony Tan
16) kaijie
17) Jenna
18) Zongze
19) Wyntrice
20) PEARLYN X)

Complete the following questions:

1. How did you meet 14?
in 3 modesty!! which is now 4 modesty!!

2. What would you do if you will never meet 1 again?
I will MISS her. She is like my best best friend who understd me the most. we know each other like for ages. (To 1: dun cry when u see this. I'm always a nice person XP)

3. What would you do if 2 and 9 dated?
OMG! 2 is well known for his love for eating. & 9 is famous for eating continuously. she will always bring snacks or tibits 2 skool so that she could eat during class. if they come 2gether. hahas 9 will make sure 2 will never get hungry with all those food 9 bought =D

4. Did you ever like 19?
erm. she's a nice funny gal. & i really think she look cute!!! hahas yupp i like her- as a friend. duhh~~

5. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
good couple?? erm not sure.. but good friends? YOU BET!!

6. Describe 3.
ok. suaning is the main point. always like 2 hurt ppl hearts with his suaning. hahas. but he's obviously clever smart. with a L1R5 of 11 of mid year. ( and he think it's very low ). great person 2 hang around with. ok enuff praising of him for one day XD

7. Do you think 8 is attractive?
yupp. she look even great wearing contact lens & when she style her hairs!! she did all this during talentime & we all saw it X)

8. Tell me about 7.
my best frenz!! i know him like since primary 4 or sometimes. we could tok bout anything. anywhere. hahas. we always help each other out. basically we did wad best friends are suppose 2 do. BEST FRIENDS 4EVA =D

9. Do you know any of 12's family?
erm nope. but i heard his father is cool~~

10. What's 8's favourite person?
woonhwee & Shiyun?? becuz they are her best friends?? i dunnoe XP

11. What will you do if 18 just confessed he/she likes you?
ewwww~~~~~~~~~~~ hahas totally impossible. we are great friends though X)

12. What language does 15 speak?
chinese english hokkien wad else?? you expect him 2 speak alien language?? -_-

13. Who is 9 going out with?
9 is going out with her best friends shiyun & xiumin!! XD

14. How old is 16?
sixteen duhh... his bdae is over X)

15. When's the last time you talked to 13?
THURSDAY. after the bio lecture we went out for lunch =D

16. What's 2 favourite band/singer?
oh my. lots. whitney houston is one of them. conclusion he lurves all those oldie singers & bands. those in the 70s & 80s century. hahas

17. Would you ever date 4?
sure. u mean date her out for like outing ritex??

18.Would you ever date 7?
duhh~~ we are BEST FRIENDS XD

19. Is 15 single?
yupp.

20.Whats 10's last name?
anita mui. oops i mean LEE. hahas X)

21. Ever have a serious relationship with 11?
serious friends relationship? den yupp. (wad does this qns mean @_@) although he may have other kinds of relationship with other ppl (A&E) XP

22.What school does 3 goes to?
same as me. CCHMS~~~

23. Where does 6 live?
hope she nv moved house. Lorong Gambir

24. What's your favourite thing about 5?
Her fried eggs!! hahax. ok larr my favourite thing bout 5 is HER!! hahas

25. Have you seen 1 naked?
NO.. i am not a pervert okayy (-_-")

end of quiz. it's cool ritex this quiz?? u may copy this quiz & try it yrself!!!

2006-06-02T07:39:00.000+08:00

X-tra Steamy!!

finally the blogg is okayy & i can update agn! (as request from our dear eunice who's asking me 2 blog) aniwae i'm like trying my utmost best 2 type carefully. i've been told by both ck & eun that there're lots of spelling & grammer mistakes in my posts. really who will care bout these mistakes?? apparently these 2. fine i will take it you two care bout my languages. thanks~~~

& i could at last watch X MEN:THE LAST STAND! been wanting 2 watch it for a long long time. people have been like telling me it's really darn nice. & the result... it's really great!! I would give the movie 4 stars out of 5 stars. though i may not like the plot. the fighting scenes were like..WoW. The way Storm blew up a duhh... storm. the way Mystique transformed herself. the way Kitty ran thru the wall. WoW i totally think X MEN the series rox!! XD

one thing though. The actress(Rebecca Romijn) acting as Mystique is pretty okayy!! i know she may not look as pretty as usual in the movie but that's becuz she dyed her hair 2 black in the movie!! She was a blonde originally. here let's me show you the original Rebecca Romijn!!

On the top is Rebecca Romijn & at the bottom is Mystique. spot any similarity? or difference?? hahas told you the actress acting as Mystique is pretty. She is a model i tink. no wonder she look so beautiful & model-ish. XP

then it was steamboat agn! & this time i got help in cooking okayy! as zongze wasnt there 2 help me cook the meat. but still there's master chefs ZHIYU & PEARLYN 2 cook for us! & i helped most of the time by cooking the meat & my favourite spicy sotong & squids. & of course i must not 4get this. the fried egg cooked by our eunice kuah was great too. ( if i was 2 4get write this, she will skin me. she's really happy with those fried eggs she cooked=D)

here's everyone!! (plus pearlyn & me who were in charge of taking these great pictures!! )

& i am literally grounded for coming home late on that day. oh well guess i will just stay at home thses few days doing all my holidays homeworks~~~

kinda wish i would get into the fever now. no not the world cup fever*roll eyes*. i hope i would get into the O' level fever now. so i could just start revising now and do my holidays homeworks wifout complaining. looking at the stack of homeworks. i hardly have any mood or motivation 2 do all those homeworks.

i understand how u feel. i can understd why u did that. i meant. if we were 2 switched places. i may have do the same thing too. i'm trying my utmost best 2 stop all these embarrassing moments. so that u will not feel strange. i know how you feel. bout me & everything. really i'm not sad. hurted nor heartbroken. I'm just affected. that's all...

2006-05-22T13:30:00.000+08:00

a new experience

finally. a break from all these shocking results trama. really i need this break 2 relax. not only 2 relax. also 2 stop my mind from tinkin bout all this results. sucky results mind you. haix...

aniwae 2dae was like my 2nd time in sentosa. the first time was like erm... ages ago. like when i was 7-8 years old. forget liao. such long ago incident. was really excited. wonder how sentosa has change. also it was also my 1st time going beach plae. hahas i said until i'm like a jing2 di3 zhi1 wa1. in eng the frog in the well.

the weather was great. everything was perfect fer beach vball. until the god has 2 make it rain. from drizzle to pour. kinda wasted $5.50 renting de vball as we didnt really use the vball 2 its full potential efficiently. if ya know wad i meant.

den eun kj pearl bought our lunch & we ate in the shelter. was kinda upset by the rain. still we wont wan the rain 2 damp our spirit. gonna have fun the whole dae!!! XD

we went back 2 the beach. but since it juz rains. the sand is damp. wet. ewww. so we decided nt 2 plae vball & went dwn 2 the sea 2 splash. ok everyone except fre zz & ben. i did mention i dunnoe how 2 swim ritex. hence swimming in the sea is like a huge obstacle in front of me. pics of me drowning in the sea keep flashing thru my mind. hahas. but still swimming in the sea was like. weird?? the sea is like so darn dirty. polluted with sand. algae. ck's dropping hairs & eun's saliva. i keep swallowing a few gulp of water. sea water. it was so darn salty. of course i noe it's salty but it's like really disgustly salty. hahas. & we like soaked in the water fer like an hour. i wanted 2 get out. but once i get out. whoosh. a gust of wind blew by. & i'm sure u can work out those physics. wind blown by. water drops on me evaporate. take away latent heat. you know. in short i felt cold. finally after an hr of soakin in sea. we got out & have a shower. i kinda stink. the sea water is not clean afterall.

we took the tram (according 2 shawn it's a train dat is not travelling on a track). was my first time taking tram. hahs. really fun. although there wasnt nice scenery around except for beach & more beach. here's us on the tram =) btw ck big white face is covering pearlyn while shawn large surface area face is half covering zhiyu...

we took the tram a full round & got 2 the cycling shop. everyone decided on cycling except fer zz zhiyu & ksy who decided 2 try bladeing. which is like difficult. hahas. i must master the skills of cycling wonderfully 1st b4 i try other skills. hence i skipped on roller blading. i really impove alot liao. really happy with my cycling. although i fell dwn once. it was all ritex. just superficial wounds. ain't gonna let these wounds spoil my moods X)

went plae pool which is also my 1st time. i like totally sux in it. but luckily there's the spot the difference game dere. hahs. so of course we plae. took turns plaeing with it. plae with it like umpteen times.

plae so much until we secure the first eight positions. hehe. actually want 2 make the whole list belong 2 MD. but ain't ani more ppl has 1 dollar coins.

we went back 2 main land afer this fer dinner. harbour front kopitiam. i was like really tired by den. also have 2 da bao food home fer dinner. found out that i used alot of money 2dae. OMG. i like left $91. how am i gonna survive thru the whole holiday. ohya i took a quiz recently. i said that i know how 2 use money usefully. also it mention that often i worried that i have not enuff money 2 spend even though i actually have enuff $$ 2 spend. lastly it said my desire fer money is very strong. hahs found out that all these result are really true. it's like totally ME!! aniwae us having dinner. pearlyn eun chialing shawn zz kj ben ksy zhiyu ck~~~

it's so so strange that after a day of fun. tomolo it's time fer skool. the feelings kinda weird. wish that skool could like just ends now. haix...

aniwae thx 2 all those who been with me thru all these storm. i really appreciate it. last few days wasnt the best days. but with you all. i realize that it's betta 2 not 2 tink 2 much. really agree with wad pearlyn saes :'ppl may tell you it's ok. but deep dwn inside. you know it's not ok'. all of u all told me it's ok. but no matter wadd. i will still feel it's not ok. but no matter wad. thx fer wad you all done. directly or indirectly. THANK YOU!!!!!

holidays is coming. bear just a few more days of teacher nagging & giving us holiday hw. & it will be HOLIDAYS!!!!!!

2006-05-19T00:46:00.000+08:00

tears of nature

today hasn't been the greatest day in my whole life. i cried today. i totally have lost hope. once again i'm sucked in2 the whirlpool. causing me confusion. i have been through this once before. & i hate it. i hate this feeling.

i hate the feeling where everyone around me are passing. & i seemed 2 be the only one failing. i know i am not the only one failed. but 2 me. in my own world. i failed. terribly. is god hinting that i am stupid? If so. then thanks. at least now i know i'm stupid.

i wondered why god always make a fool out of me. why can't god just stop giving me in-constant results? during this season; i'm good. then the next season; i'm bad. stop giving me hope & making me happy when in the end god will just totally destroyed. leaving nth but sadness in my heart. if i'm clever, just give me constant satisfying results. if i'm stupid. then just give me constant sucky results. wad i need is a exact answer. dun give me satisfying results 2dae & sucky like hell results tmolo. i can't find myself this way. wad i want is 2 know myself. where's my level of intelligence.

physics was a near death blow 2 me. i tried 2 contain myself. i tried 2 get a hold of myself. but it was 2 no avail.

2 me. results are everything. cuz that's the only thing that can give me hope in the future. i seemed 2 have no other skills 2 depend on. i feel so useless. wad can i depend on besides my results. i can't seemed 2 just find any talents inside me. i seemed 2 have no special skills in me. i seemed 2 be lost inside the crowd. no one is noticing me. cuz i am a nobody. i am shouting out. but no one hears..

the reason why i really care bout my mid year results is becuz of those stupid belief. the teacher mention that if u get good results during mid year. the possibility of getting good results in O level will be higher. some stupid rumors beliefs like that. which got me panicking. i dun wan 2 get all these sucky results in my O level. i really dun wan. if i was 2 get this kind of results. my future will be over. i can only depend on my results...

sometimes i feel like dieing. things run thru my mind when i crossed the road. wad will happen if a car knock me down? this kind of thing flashed thru my mind. i even tried 2 think of ways 2 die painlessly, peacefully. scareless-ly. i wondered if i die. will i reincarnate in2 a better person. a clever person. with a better life?

being a cancer. i tend 2 think too much. i am just 2 imaginative. i am just 2 naive. i wish for a simple & perfect life. i wish for many things. i think of many things. but none of them came true. often i wish i wont think so much. but i cant. everything that is said bout me. i will think bout it. every nitex i will think. i will spend one hour in bed thinking. bout everything...

is this zi4 bei1? is this low self esteem? or is this losing of hope? when can i be confident & be more sure of myself??

things may change from 2dae onwards.. either i become darn hardworking. or i will just give up on life.
the latter looked so appealing. 2 give up on life. give up hope. i wondered how it will feel like??

if i was to fail my biology tmolo. i dunnoe wad i will do. really. cries out loud? i guess if i failed
biology. i will...

Thx 2 those who was with me all these times. who tried 2 make me feel betta. esp junjin shawn wynne. thx alot. but still deep down inside i will feel sad no matter wadd. it's inevitable...

*I admit i like you more than a friend
call me a wimp
call me a scaredy-cat
cuz i dun dare confess in front of u
but that's becuz i can predict everything
i know the result...

i appeared scared in front of you.
i dun dare 2 talk 2 you.
but that's because i want 2 leave a good impression
of me in you

[sometimes-britney spears]
Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

i'm not sad bout anything.
i will treat it as a precious memory in my mind. forever

As time goes by. my love for you will change. but it will never dies...*

2006-05-16T21:49:00.000+08:00

disappointment conquered my world

life will nv ever turned out the way you wanted it 2 be. you wish for a perfect life. you wish everything will be perfect. but god has 2 interfere. god will dashed your dreams. destroyed your hopes. make everything turned out anything but perfectly...

these few days haven been the best days. been handling many shocks & unfulfilled wishes/hopes at the same time. been thinking bout life. been reflectin on everything i did.

my results. that's one of the many shocks. i ain't pleased with it at all. i flunked totally. deproved totally. i'm disappointed in myself. totally.

i wondered how god define 'good boy'. one that study real hard. doesn't go out & have fun. watch tv less than 3 hours a day. listen 2 wadeva his parents says.doesn't lie 2 everyone. man. if that's really how god define 'good boy'. then i am absolutely not in the 'good boy' zone.

i wondered how god define 'bad things'. flunking in subj? go out with friends often? reaching home late? wasting money? man then i have did everything. all the bad things.

i wondered if all these 'retributions' i have been having these few days is the results of i not being a good boy & doing all these bad things.

i wondered... if LIFE SUX.

2006-05-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

With Love. With Hope.

went out 4 a feast for mother's dae. really full now. keeping burpping. tink i have gained a few kg. oops. i dun wan 2 grow fatter. help help~~~~

[my frustration again]
your favoritism obviously knows no boundary. your actions too. i know u always wanted 'A'. i know u liked "B' & 'C' more than 'D'. but still u need know show it 2 the whole world. fine maybe other ppl may tink of it as caring. but 2 me. it's obvious. it's more than caring. it's wanting. it's wishing. it's hoping. & i know 'B' & 'C' are much more impt 2 you. they worth more than 'D'. it's hard to tried 2 ignore. & sometimes it hurts. you might not notice it. but ppl will.

& pls stop hollering. shrieking. shouting. screaming. u are not helping in anything by doing all these. u are just causing noise pollution. causing irritation 2 ppl's ears. oh u're in the better mood now. great. because a day u are in a better mood. Is a day of peace...

2006-05-13T20:50:00.000+08:00

A day of craziness is nv enuff

finally a trip 2 east coast park[ecp] AGAIN!! the last time i went ecp was kinda long ago. & dat was also the time i started my cycling training. muz really learn how 2 cycle 'expertly' by end of this yr. 2dae cycling was a great leap. much improvement from last time. really really happy with myself X). although i have 2 keep muttering 2 myself "balanced yrself" umpteen times & grasping grapping the handle for the whole cycling journey which cause my hands 2 be numb. still i could at least cycle 4 quite a dist before falling off. hahas. next time i go. i will show u all the new & improved cycling sunthai XD

it was the routine just as last time. after cycling it was arcade. this time we didnt hang in the arcade for 2 long. ain't wanna use 2 much $$ there. as i dunn really have lots of cash in my wallet. the nitex before i was like telling mum i will be going ecp 2 cycle tml. & she immediately went 2 my jean. fish out my wallet & took out $50 over & leaving me with a sentence 'go ecp cycling no need so much money. i will help u keep some of yr money.' yeah ritex. (-_- ")

it was bowling next. i kinda improved since our last game in marina square. with a score of 102. i was really kinda pleased with myself. though there's still lots of room of improvement. den we start 2 practise 2 become 'professional' bowlers. tryin our utmost best 2 spin our bowling ball correctly like those pro bowlers. all of us try our luck in spinning the ball. most of us ended with strained & sprained fingers. hahas. next time we shld juz go 2 a cheap bowling alley & practise our 'spinning bowling skills'. here's eun pearlyn ben ksy. heyy if u look closely at ksy's eyes you will notice a red sore dere. yupp that's wad u will get for watching 2 much porn. hahas

next was our lunch in mac which was round 3pm. lunch at 3pm? tink it shld be called tea break lehh bahh. anyway didnt notice that mac had a new product called rolled french fries. or wadeva u called that. it's french fries rolled twisted like a tornado. something like that. tasted it & it taste all right. i'm ain't a big fan of french fries. ever since sec2 getting HIGH fever & vomitting seriously after eating skool french fries which have become soggy cuz i put it in my bag from recess to like after skool & eating it while i was going home. i still eat french fries. on the condition it's is only mac fries & it's not too much. 2 many fries & i will feel like vomiting. hahas. us eating at mac. & they are pearlyn eun zhiyu zongze shawn ksy ben kaijie X)
after that we went bugis 2 accompany eun & pearlyn 2 buy bags. went in2 bugis village which was like so hot stuffy cramped. but inside there are many new stores. next time ask frenz 2 go there. like got one store selling clothes for male only. i like the short pants there. cuz i dun hav short pants. the shortest pants i have is 3/4 pants. which isn't short. i like the shirts & belts there too. but most imptly i heard u can slashed prices at bugis village. is it true?? does it apply 2 every shop(excluding food shops) in bugis village?? hahas if really true going there nxt time 2 buy & slash!! heyy if any of you going bugis village nxt time call me along okayy =) we went home after this. i got home 1st since bugis is so near chinatown. yeah!!

[my frustration-sorry i need 2 vent it. hope you all dun mind-]
i will do wadeva i tink is the best of me. so stop giving those glares & stares or wadeva. i had enuff of u. making 2me do wad i dun wan do. bringing me 2 places of boredom. making my life miserable. oh please stop tinkin you're the best. you're correct. for goodness sake cooping me in the house ain't gonna make me betta. i'm aly being the best i can. i'm not like going out everyday. coming back home late everyday. oh pls you come home late more often than me. pls start noticimg some of the 'good' that i have done & stop having all yr brain tinkin bout all those 'bad' i have done. pls, i hav done more 'good' than 'bad'. it's just that you dun bother 2 look at those 'good'. u dun appreciate all those 'good'. sometimes i even wonder do u even care at all. maybe u dun even...

2006-05-12T12:16:00.000+08:00

The end of misery. The start of craziness. Or is it??

[my humps-black eyed peas]
What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

listening 2 my humps now hahas X). finally it's all over. all these misery of revising & studying. I'm finally free. Or am I?? ain't happy with all my subj. okayy maybe except of both my a & e-maths. at least i feel confident for both of them. feel confident bout them over thise triple science. however my confident may juz trick me. i may just do darn badly even 4 my maths paper. which of course will have a great negatively impact on me if it really happen. betta pray it will not. =) & next week it's like a whole week of getting back the results. wont be able 2 handle so many shock in such a short time..

[Beep-PCD]
It's funny how a man only thinks about the...
You got a real big heart, but I'm looking your...
You got real big brains, but I'm looking at your...
Girl, there ain't no pain in me looking at your...
I don't give a...
Keep looking at my...
'Cause it don't mean a thing if you're looking at my...
I'm a do my thing while you're playing with your...
Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

song changed. aniwae 2dae e maths was all right. although i didnt do the rotation qns. as i didnt touch on rotation. 0_o tot it was not tested. but still it came out. argh~~ there go my 2 marks. trying hard 2 catch it. lame. but ritex after the paper. hahas i'm all pumped up. X) ready 2 go out & have FUN. wooOOooo. but i gonna say. it was real darn hot 2dae. sweat was like pouring down from me. literally. still after the paper it was an exciting crazy fun journey 2 marina square =D

[Be Without You-Mary J Blige]
Too strong for too long (and I can't be without you baby)
And I'll be waiting up until you get home (cuz I can't sleep without you baby)
Anybody who's ever loved, ya know just what I feelT
oo hard to fake it, nothing can replace it
Call the radio if you just can't be without your baby

totally like lurve this song. aniwae once at marina square it was lunch. however den it was round an hour & more in the arcade. the DDR dere was faulty. sad. real sad. was actually planning 2 plae DDR as a form of exercise. oh well since it isn't working might plae other kind of game. after arcade it was bowling. my bowling skill have really been deproving. not 2 say it was good in the first place. but at least it was standard type one. now it dropped 2 miserably low marks. really shld brush up on my bowling skill. hahas x). maybe we shld go out more often. like tmolo? or sun? or next tues? hahax i'm like totally going crazy over here. wan go out everyday 2 enjoy the moment after exam. YEAH~~

[Hips Don't Lie-Shakira]
Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body
I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection

Did i like mention b4 i totally sux in counter strike aka cs?? I dun mind plaeing other online game like DOTA or even maple. but 4 goodness sake not cs. I'm like totally sux in it. after bowling it was lan. It was DOTA at first. but soon it was switched 2 cs. & is this period i totally sianz diao4. The game started. den 5-10 secs later i was plaeing with the mouse. the game restart but still 5- 10 secs later i was smsing on my phone. why? because i was dead. duhh. hence 1 hour of plaeing cs is just like shooting for half an hr & dreaming off 4 another 1/2 hr. DOTA is at least betta. but cs? yeah ritex. it will be just a waste of $$. of course until i grasped the techniques of cs. never again cs. never.

oh ya we went KFC for dinner? nahh not dinner. tea break will be most suitable. but really why KFC again? rmb the last time we went suntec it was again KFC. i'm like not a great fan of KFC. it's so fattening!! Hahas XD. & b4 we go we took a pic with Mr KFC. or wadeva his name is.

& now i'm back in my own sweet home. ain't deciding 2 come home so early. but my mother's nagging sometimes could just be so irritating. argh~~~. & finally a long post 4 you all.... ok fine i admit i cheat by adding all those song lyrics 2 lengthen my post. but heyy it made the post more interesting ritex??? hahas

heyy you all out there. exam's over. enjoy this "exam's over" feeling as much as you can. have fun & go~~ CRAZY!!!

[Unwritten-Natasha Bedingfield]
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

2006-05-10T21:18:00.000+08:00

Endurance is the key

just one more day. make it even betta. 12 hours more. all this will be over. all i have 2 do is 2 endure this 12 hrs. & i will be free. ritex??

these 2 weeks has been... stressful?? that would only applied 2 some subj. i work hard. darn hard 4 some subj. but still it didnt work out. Am i happy with all these disappointment in myself?? I'm ain't happy at all.

sometimes i just feel so stupid. all these studying & revision are just ain't workin 4 me. often i even feel like crying when i encountered a question i cant solve. i study real darn hard. yet i will encounter some questions dat i cant solve. & mind u. my "some" refer 2 a large amt. not just a few questions. Is my studying method wrong?? wad's wrong with me?? wad would be the best 4 me? continue doing all these things which will end up worthless for me OR just give up hope??

my e maths. my biology. my chemistry. my physics. darn it.

when can i be secure. strong & sure of my myself?

2006-05-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

sleepy as my Ricky

ain't gonna be a long post. juz blogging b4 i drop 2 sleep. i am like so so tired. ain't been getting enuff sleep becuz of all these freaky exam. & i am officially getting flared up by all these stupid exam. 2 be more precise. flared up by all those difficult paper where most of the qns is not found in the notes or wadeva. in short u muzt use yr brain. in even shorter application qns. in even even shorter CHEMISTRY~

& i must really learn 2 read the qns b4 writin down my qns. waste at least 15min in e geog as i wrote the wrong thingy. written like a chunk aly. den read the qns 2 realize i worte the wrong info. cancel everything & rewrite everything. all these costs me lots of time & effort. & cost me marks. ain't happy now

analysing time. i'm kinda pleased with my a maths. was able 2 finish 10 minute b4 time ends. done all qns. didn't leave any blank. although i comforted myself by ignoring all those stupid & freaky mistakes i made. darn it. i always have all those darn idiotic careless mistakes. and my ss. i was darn unhappy with it. the SEQ came out all those i did really deeply study. luckily my memory still contain the remains of conflicts of ireland. but ain't gonna get nice high results.

and my chemistry 2dae. not gonna tok 2 much bout it. cuz i am really displeased by it. okayy fine i admit i didnt really study chemistry deeply. but the qns are phrased so strangely. argh wadeva. really sad. & e geog is as rushing as usual. tink gonna be on the list of most untidy handwriting.

really hope my L1R5 will be betta than last yr EOY. Like ck. i will faint if i get 10 of L1R5. i will faint of happiness

gtg mugged my physics. which is one of my least fave. subj. BORING~~~~~

2006-05-02T08:52:00.000+08:00

confused as piggy

mid year is coming. i am like so so stressed?? nahh dat's not it. it's more of a "i'm studying bored-ingly" feeling. yupp that's it. it's not i dunn like studying. not that I like studying. but studying interestingly might be more conducive 4 me. but i am juzt like stuck in boredom studying. studying bored-ly 4 2 hours is juz like standing & doing nth 4 2 hrs. argh~~~~~

and why is there sth wrong wif the blog? is it my computer or the webby prob??? 4 some stupid freaky reason there is always a "Error on page" on the bottom right hand of the screen. ya i could still update my blogg. but i cant edit my post after publishing dem. & i also could not upload pics in2 my blogg. 4ever there's the "Error on page" below... pissed.

and 4 goodness sake. stop asking me 2 study. I WILL STUDY eventually. so stop nagging me. i have grown up aly. at least sort of. well at least i know how 2 tink 4 myself. i am not like last time aly. i wont lost control of myself. i CAN control myself. i wan 2 get good results too. I WILL STUDY!!!! have anyone told u bout the quote "no one knows you the best except yrself" or sth lye that. conclusion: i know wad's best for me....

oh well aniwae it's our beloved melvin's & chialing's bdae tmolo. ~HAPPY BIRTHDAY~

& ck is leaving us tmolo nitex~~ 2 represent s'pore in robotic competition. he will be enjoying the view in netherland while we will be mugging here. oh well. aniwae wish ck yi2 lu4 shun4 feng1. oh i gonna cry. i gonna miss him*(i'm writing all this for the sake for chocolate. rmb i wanna kit-kat those kind one. dun wan bitter one. dun wan dairy milk kind one. wan those hard hard one. best if it's cold. i wont mind if u enclosed my chocolate in a packet of ice so as 2 make sure it wont melt. hahas =) thx!!)* but sincerely have a safe & fun trip. after u come back AND take every paper liao. we go east coast cycle. arcade. lan routine again okayy ^.^

one week & few days later all these will be over. but i wonder can i survive this long?? everyone JIAYOU okayy??

.................and i wonder will she like it????

2006-04-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

haven been bloggingg fer bout... a week?? mid year exam have started & dunn really have time 2 blogg. okayy maybe dat's not the reason. been tryingg 2 tell myself. do not touch the computer. it will kill you~~ literally. some how it works & i managed 2 resist my com temptation fer a week. but not 2dae. this whole week shld be a free week. a week without anithing on. a week fer u 2 fully concentrate on yr revision. however. it have been a week for comingg home late. a week with less than 3 afternn nap. a week of tired. a week of damn sadness...

let's juz start from tuesday.

it's the day of me.ck.ade organise game for pccg. hahas. finally revenge fer everyone.*(evil laughter)* our punishment isn't really that bad ritex?? the juice*(is it even considered juice in the 1st place??)* that ade mix like lemon juice+teriyaki sauce was the disgustingg one lorr. mine is like sweet mango juice+sweet tomato juice+salt+MSG+MANY WATER. hence it not really that disgustingg as ade one. at least mine smell nice.*(many say that my juice smell nice.hahas)* And adeline tot of de makeup punishment. which is the using of lipsticks 2 makeup face. & it was ck & ade who provided the lipsticks. & the result of this disgusting violent punishment?? as seen below. EWWWWWWWWW~~~~~~~~~~~~ now that's the revenge 4 being so irritating everytime ksy... hahasthe day of 5 items too. i dun understd it. exam is like comingg nearer. yet there's still 5 item. as if we are nt tired enuff with all dose studyingg. ArghH~~~~~. managed 2 pass all of my 5 items.*(at least dat's wad i rmb. oh well who cares. will check again next tues PE lesson)* & i finally able 2 do ONE pull-ups. hahas. =) but still feel kinda moody dat day. always down when there's 5 item. fer some reason. maybe i juz dun like it. although i managed 2 pass all of it. my darker mood still moved in 2 eclipse my happy mood of passing all & i will once again plung in2 hopelessness. oh well~~ stop tinking SO MUCH!!!!!

Wednesday

okayy this is THE WORST DAY of all day. feel like crying. my BEAUTIFUL hair was cut. CUT!! omg. the main point. cut by discipline master. the main point. others got cut behind only but only me got cut back. sideburn & fringe. & he could nt juz cut straight. i was so so so shame the whole day. my hair juz look like...
Ying1 tao2 xiao3 wan2 zi3*(ade & shawn say that)*.
like Rock Lee from naruto*( benedict ksy they all say that)*.
Ms yee sok yee*(shiyun saes that)*.
however 2 me it juz look...DISGUSTING =(. juz one word 2 summarise everything. DISGUSTING!! *cries* once bell ring. i juz rush out of skool with shiyun & xiumin. i dun even bother 2 take bus. juz took cab & off i was 2 parkway. HAIRCUT TIME~~~

Thursday.

2.4 km run. okayy i like comfirm that b4 five items & 2.4km run i wont feel unwell. feel sickening. wadeva. really hope i will pass. since i pass all my 5 items. i must try my utmost best 2 pass my 2.4km run. this way i wont 2 do any retest duringg next week PE!! YEAH!! hahas so happy X) *(i shld have nt ever listen 2 zz. tell him i will vomit if i have anithing b4 2.4km. hence dun wan go 4 lunch. however he succeeded in psycho-ing me in2 having lunch. this result in me having stitch after running 0.5km. argh~~)* must still i pass. BUT still i was tired. i mean who wont be tired ritex after 2.4km run??? got home real late that day. like rround 7pm. & there's like exam tomolo. totally no mood 2 study.

FRiday which is 2dae

okayy eng paper 1 & 2. okayy i like will totally flunked both of them. *CRIES* tink i totally wrote out of the qns. in chinese it's called li2 ti2. hais. now my confidence have decreased by round 10%. muz really bucked up liao. cannot slacked animore.

aniwae 2dae i totally didnt revise at all. i did nt have afternn nap 4 2 daes liao. gonna alp early & wake up late 2molo. then is the continuous studying from sat. sun den mon. JIAYOU!!!!

2006-04-22T20:35:00.000+08:00

hahas as i said in my previous post. mid year is getting nearer & nearer. & since i quitted my tuition*(my tuition teacher just change. cannot teach one. so might as well quit & concentrate on me own.JIAYOU!!)* & so since i quitted decided on group study wif PEARLYN KAIJIE EUNICE SHAWN ZONGZE & CHUNKIAT. however disadvantage of grp study... sometimes we just drift off & tok gossips instead. haahs X) aniwae here's me & EuniCe hardworking-ly studying. we spend bout 3 hrs dere b4 the macs manager kindly chased us out. since we been in dere 2 long studyin. we might affect their business. yeah ritex. aniwae after being chased out no more mood studying... so it's ARCADE TIME!! *(that zz just cant study. he like study 4 2 hrs and den start asking "finish study liao mahh?? wann go liao mahh??" which is the converted vers of " wanna go play arcade now??" hahas)*

went simei play!! & we addicted with yet another cool game!! It's called~~~ EZ touch 2!! it's those kind of game where u can touch the screen. it got many games inside. the one we are addicted wif is the "spot the difference". ya know. those kind where there's 2 pics & u muz spot out the difference betwn them den press on the screen. i could NV EVER play it on my own. rmb last time play that. IT WAS TERRIBLE~~~

hahas since we got so many ppl we play finish the whole stage. 20 stages in total lehh. hahas. play like 7~8 times.

X) very high ritex. it's like so high lorr. tink we wrote this durin 2nd or 3rd time plaeing bahh. was so surprised 2 get so high!! hahas. the power of modesty!!!

& we wrote this during the 5th time plaeing bahh. even higher lorr. hahas XP. improved kinda alot. we keep improving with every game we plae. so we were tinking of breakin the game record of 42 0000 sth set by a person called lisa. though all of our eyes are kinda strained by now. we still nv give up!! wad great modesty spirit we have!! X)

<-& becuz of this great spirit we have. WE BROKE THE RECORD!!! hahaas. WOW!! score 424140. that's like so high. actually b4 this game we dunn wan plae liao. but dat ck accidentally tap the card. so in order not waste $$. we continue plaeing. haahs didnt expect us 2 REALLY break the record!! that is SO COOL!!! yeah we did it!!!

hahas see the improvement?? such a big leap. *(wish my marks could have such a great improvement too. i will be SO SO happy 2 have such a big leap in results. hahas XD)*

but time was getting late. gotta go home. AND STUDY. AGAIN. hais. i have only finishin revisin 7 chap in physics only lehh.. how am i gonna survive at this rate???

BUT b4 we go. A NICE PHOTO OF US!! *(i am not inside of course. I WAS the one taking the photo~~ hahs)* SMILE ck zongze shawn pearlyn & our new frenz who also helped us in the game JIAFENG*(the guy in red :D )*

hahas. gtg revise my physics. muz really revising physics by tomolo no matter wadd!! 2 all of you~~ happy spotting difference in your life~~~ X)

2006-04-21T22:19:00.000+08:00

HAPPY & SAD~~~~

2dae has been a great day. so fun with all my eds frenz. YOU ALL RAWKZ!! hahas. mid year is like around the corner of wadeva. so started revising. but it's like i have been revising chemistry fer like 3 days & i haven finish studyingg. hais. realize my speed is so slow. but finally i finish revise chemistry juz now.YEAH!!! so happy now. at least i finish revising one topics. but not actually totally revise lahh. juz run through & look at the WONDERFUL AMAZING GREAT chemistry notes.*(afterall SHE saes b4 indirectly dat her notes are good. & directly saes that b4 exam a few daes juz RUN THRU her notes den cann get A1. key words=RUN THRU. ~ya ritex)*

& i got back my physics test paper. okayy it was like so sucky. my marks is like as usual the range of 10 ~15 marks. wonder when cann i break thru this range?? hais. gonna study hard. as usual...

been feeling down recently. maybe bcuz of the stressed. or maybe it's all those "huhh??~~ wad is the teacher teaching/toking" during lesson??. OR maybe it's becuz mid year coming. all teachers are like going full speed now. trying 2 teach finish all the chaps dat have not been teach but will be covered in MYE. which like make my brain go at full speed. the teacher is like going at 10km/hr. while my brain is stuck at 5~8 km/hr. i juz could not catch up. AND dat's not a good news definitely. darn it.

have been trying 2 define myself recently. tryin 2 find out EXACTLY wad kind of person i am. not those vague answers like KIND. GREAT. HARDWORKING~*(which i already know i am. HAHAs XD)* & i juz found out that~~i always like 2 plan thing ahead of time. sometimes ahead of days or wadeva. even fer things that are not impt i also plan ahead wad 2 do. wad 2 bring.like if there is a class camp. once i heard the news that there's camp. i will immediately start tink wadd shld i bring. more deep thing like exactly how many shirts & shorts. Exactly how much money$. exactly shd bring wadd thing. sometimes even make a list. den maybe two weeks b4 the camp. i will start tinking EVEN deeply. like exactly WHICH clothes 2 wear. which shirt shld i choose?? which shirt shld go with which shorts?? Shld i buy new shampoo or juz bring along home's shampoo?? DEN 2~3 daes b4 the camp i will start taking out clothes. tink bout everything ALL OVER AGAIN. make sure i didnt 4get anithing.

somehow all these doesnt make me tired. it juz make me more anticipated. excited bout the activities. rmb last time june we actually wanted 2 have a class camp. it was actually comfirmed. & upon hearing the news i started doing ALL THE THINGS above. but in the end it was cancelled last minutes*(really last min. it was like the day b4 the camp)* i have packed everything by den. & when i heard the news i was like really down. sad. pissed off. dunnoe how 2 discribed the feeling. sad+pissed off+down=???. cann some one help me do this Eqn?? help me solve it?? i dunnoe why i feel this way. maybe it's becuz i had wasted so much time think planning & den it all fail.maybe it's becuz i have everything planned out perfectly; hoping everything will turned out perfectly. but we know. nth is perfect. thing dunn turn as perfectly fer you. something will try 2 prevent things from becoming perfect 4 you.

maybe i shld control myself. not let this kind of thingy get 2 me. stay HAPPY X)

2006-04-16T20:06:00.000+08:00

2molo is emaths test. i shld be revising 4 e maths. or make dat i KEEP TELLING myself 2 study but in the end i fail. oh well. have been in front of computer the whole day. so so bored. nth 2 do*(although i can revise. but nahh. dat will be even more boring XP)*

guess wadd i have been doing de whole day?? hahax 4 some reason i am hooked up on pokemon again. nahh no no not the game*(although i did play a tweeny little bit of pokemon emerald 2dae)* but i am hooked up on every pokemon song that appear both in the TV series & pokemon movies. downloaded like 8 pokemon songs. rmb the Jigglypuff song?? hahas i dwnloaded it. & the theme song for the Pokemon:johto league. got it too. but nahh i did not dwmload the FIRST EVER pokemon theme song*(the opening song that u heard in the 1ST EVER episode of pokemon. u know when ash got his pikachu. the chorus is like"You gotta catch them all.pokemon or wadeva. though it sux. the singer sound like michael Jackson. hahax)* and the song dat appear on my blog front page is from the latest movie Pokemon:Destiny Deoxys. it sounds really nice. put it in my phone liao. got chance let u all listen. the lyrics also very touching. about friends one. i totally LURVE that song X) THIS SIDE OF PARADISE rawkz

& i okayy liao. not really upset losing my ear piece liao. though still kinda tweeny sad lahh. afterall i 1st time use it den lose it. it's not any ear piece lorr. it's only for sing ericsson walkman phone one lorr. dammit i really cannot take care of ear piece haix. last time also like dat. but i okayy liao really. THANKS 2 those 4 consoling me. REALLY THANK U ALL!!! YOU ALL RAWKZ!!! i much betta liao. not so sad animore X). but i got another bad news. my MP3 player ear piece condition has worsened. dammit. is this week the week where all earpiece gonna "died"??? haix

gotta go. really must study liao. cya

2006-04-16T18:29:00.000+08:00

hahas. ck AGN. im uber bored nw. so shall post sth nice.

sunthai. thankyou so much for yr nice nice pencilcase. duhhs. thanks to u im using it nw. juz wna tell u u have been a relle supportive friend eh. nvr failing to make the ppl arnd u smile with your sometimes-funny-sometimes-not-so funny jokes. though its uber noisy at the back STILL, i still appreciate the boisterous gang bhind, always ready to entertain those surrounding u.

juz wna let u knw also, we love you bcoz of what you are. ;D regardless of yr lips nose or whatever, i will still treat u as my gd friend eh. hahas. rock on with yr sexy lips pose. ;D

with love.

2006-04-14T13:35:00.000+08:00

ok i like offically believe in retribution. ok maybe not dat serious. maybe it's "you do not good thing sth bad happen 2 u". i am like really REALLY sad. upset. juz describe me with all the words used 2 describe ppl who are unhappy. nope it's not dat yesterday steamyboat outing was not fun. it was great. but it's juz that sth not good happen 2 me. up 2 2dae i still sad.*(i found out 1 thing. if sth unhappy or juz sth not good happen 2 me. i will tink bout it 4 like a whole week. keep running it thru my mind. tinkin wad juz happen. waad cause it 2 happen.)* yesterday was like this......

yesterday was sports meet. it was better than any other years. although the venue change 2 jurong sports stadium & the place was kinda dirty. the weather yesterday was bout 70% perfect. if not 4 those drizzle that keep falling occasionally. it would be a perfect day. dere was no sun. it wasn't even hot. GREAT!! & CCHMS performance was GREAT!! YEAH!! WE RAWKZ!! here are some pics i took dere...

heyy i admitt dat yesterday we didnt shout & cheer VERY loudly and OFTEN. juz dunnoe why. our mood juz aint there i guess. though we sec4 did shout a bit. it's dose sec 3 who didnt even shout. they are like so wadd lorr. did not shout. take out umbrella once there's a little bit drizzle. please. a drizzle wont kill u all.*(though i hope it will juz kill u all)* look at how all of us(Melvin.shawn.guanjie.junJin & kaijie) are lookin at the match SO ATTENTIVELY!! melvin is even shoutin hahax

den soon later in the sports meet it was geeting kinda boriing. i was getting sleepy. so starts listening 2 my phone. WHILE ppl here start 2 play wif poker cards. hahax. who will win in the end?????

den after the sports meet we will on the way 2 marina 4 Steamboat!!!! look how excited everyone is!! SMILE!!!

now we reach marina!!! look everyone is really VERY HAPPY!!!! hahax. except 4 dat zongze who still look so so moody hahas. now all we have 2 do is 2 wait 4 our da pai(Juz kiddin) CK ADE PEARLYN 2 arrive!!! HAHAX.

once dey arrive we immediately walk 2 marina. since the bus will be 4 sure full. it was really nice 2 walk durin at nitex. once we reach dere we went 2 arcade!! hahax. den it was time 2 eat!! i gotta thank zongze as he keep cookin 4 me.*( although most of the time the meat he cook is either half cooked or over cooked) & also thanks our MASTER CHEFS PEARLYN & ZHIYU!!! *claps* the meat dey really very nice. soft & tender.YUMMY!!! and i successfully cook MY OWN Scrambled Egg with Meat!!! & shawn & Ck say it's not bad!! HAHAX.*( i must really learn some Steamboat skill. it's not i nv help 2 cook at home. it's juz i dunnoe how 2 cook durin steamyboat!! i dunnoe how 2 differentiate between fully cooked & not fully cooked...)*

den it was time 2 go home.*(time was like 11.15pm)* we took our las group pic in the MRT. here it is. OHH~~ everyone look so happy as usual!!.

i was happy too!! BUT~~the bad thing i mention above is bout 2 happen. i went home with toto since he is on the same mrt line as me. AND i found out... i lost my PHONE EAR PIECE!! i was like so so shocked. keep looking 4 it everywhere but could not find it!! tink i lost it at marina. i should have been more careful!! i was like so so devastated!! i could now understd how zp feel when she say she lost her hp*(although in de end she find it back. how i wish i could find mine back)*. i was like silent all the way walking home. really sad. it's not the kind of normal sadness like when i did badly 4 my last yr mid yr exam. it's even worst den dat. it's ULTRA sadness. i have ULTRA fun yesterday.thankx 2 all my GREAT FRENZ!!! BUT this kind of thing happen. it's juz make me.. ULTRA SAD. haix

now i am startin 2 tink. WHY did god make me lose my ear piece?? izzit becuz i promised my mum will be back by 11pm plus. yet i arrive home 12pm?? will this still happen if i did not go steamboat?? was it a mistake 4 me 2 bring my ear piece out & listen yesterday?? WHAT is god trying 2 make me learn by making me lost the ear piece?? dont ever go out too late?? dont ever break yr promise?? Dunn ever bring you precious thing out?? WHAT IZZIT THAT I HAVE LEARN??

It's pouring rain outside. Thunder CRACKED & ROARED. Lightning FLASHED. juz the perfect weather 4 my mood now . my sad sad mood...=(

ps: if u waann any of the 23 pics i took yesterday during sports meet & steamboat juz ask from me. i uploaded everything liao...

2006-04-12T19:40:00.000+08:00

haiz. i'm like feeling so so down ritex now.juz like my CUTE ADORABLE dog RICKY above. he's like so down & innocent. maybe ck is ritex. many ppl are feeling down these few days. yesterday didnt come online cuz i came home like 4pm.(bcuz of de EL compre practise) den hav afternn nap till 8pm. den wake up revise bio test. i dunn even hav de mood 2 study lorr.

2 make thing worst. i woke up yesterday with a sore throat. AND also a cold. i juz keep sneezing & sneezing. haiz. now i am so so down. the sore throat is esp. painful when ever i wake up. tink i am on the verge of falling sick. & tomolo dere is sports meet. alot ppl are bringing snack to eat. i also wanna bring some 2 eat. but with this idiotic sore throat...haiz shld i buy some snacks?? ya den it will make my sore throat even worst...OUCH!! & tomolo after sports meet we going marina south eat steamboat. if my sore throat dunn get better a little bit. i wont be able 2 the steamboat(*cries* i wan eat steamboat!! the last time i eat with all my frenz was SO SO LONG AGO!!!)

& friday we going celebrate ck birthdae. but if my conditions doesnt improve...hiax. now after going eds. i am like so sore throat-ful. cold-ful & TIREED!!! haix. no jing1 shen2 now lahh. *cries*

ohya. BTW 2dae our CK BIRTHDAY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *CK shld be so happy i enlarge these words!! HAHAX*

2006-04-10T18:50:00.000+08:00

hahax.secret revealled!! DAT'S my new phone. Sony Ericsson W800i. it's kinda cool. juz dat it is not filp phone.my dream phone. but still i am satisfied with it. though i'm still in de process of learning how 2 use the hp. like trying 2 know how 2 rename the pics i have captured...hahax. really really blurred by it. so so blurr (@_@)

wait a minute. wait a min... tink i did it. YES!! while i am blogging. i'm also trying 2 solve the prob of renaming the pics i have captured. took so so long 2 solve. but in de end i did it!! I'm like CHEY~~ so its like dat only. 2 tink i keep asking ck how how how & he keep explaining it in such a sophisticated way. so complicated dat i dunn understd.

aniwae 2molo will be an ultra slacking day. which is good. hahax. den dunn need use my brain cell.. YEAH!!