Mr.CRAP
and everything's BAD.

don't ask me why, but some small incidents that happen these few days affected me so much.
i think i am such a bad person, like literally.
and bad is just an understatement.
i am a bad, possessive, selfish, self-centred, stupid, undetermined, weak, irresponsible, stingy blah blah blah and etc person. oh come on, throw in all those negative phrases, adjectives, nouns or whatever, i'm sure they are made to suit me somehow.
if all the 'feeble-minded' person are to be exterminated instead of sterilized, i will be the first in the queue. in fact, i shall volunteer to be the first.
GREAT, as if life sucks isn't enough to turn me off, i have to suck too.

i told myself to stand up for myself. i thought i was making a right decision, at least a decision that i made for myself without the influence of others. but why do i feel so bad and guilty right now? did i make a wrong decision, or are others' opinion making an impact on me? i hate the fact how a slight remark or opinion would make me embark of journey of self-doubt, i mean i did try to not dwell about those comments, but still they just keep lingering in my mind. should i just ignore them or believe in myself? and how do i gauge the credibility of those remarks, whether it's true or false.
just listening and thinking of those comments make me feel like an unworthy person.
and of course, there're other incidents that i personally think that i'm a devil.
i am not a good friend, i am not a good person, i am not a human being.

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
and the weak get vanquished.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY XINYI!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JUNJIN!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ANGELINE!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY WEESHAN!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY ZHENGYU!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY ZIPING!
HAPPY IN-ADVANCED BIRTHDAY EDNA!

oh and FRIENDSHIP DAY and CHINESE NEW YEAR are coming!

OUR NEW CLASS TEE!

GUZHENG CONCERT!

HMM~
i've got nothing to say anymore.
but the good new is, i've stop dwelling about you anymore.
you shall sit silently in my heart(:

please do not leave me alone♥

DEATH

i knew it, i just knew it.
a new year doesn't mean anything to me, just another repeat of twenty-oh-seven. just another year of torture, another year of bumpy ride.
the only difference is that it brings me closer to the nightmares.

just the first two weeks, and it's already killing me. and let's not mention there's even more weeks to go through before i officially reach my nightmares.
i admit, the amount of people above me totals to almost infinity.
and how sometimes just a simple sentence, can literally kill your heart.
sadly, i can't find the reasons anymore, i can't find the strength.

in a shop full of branded and expensive bags, a torn and tattered bag without a price tag.
the journey through the darkness, and the absence of sunshine at the end of the tunnel.
the turning point of life, towards the rainbow or towards the destruction.


okayy, it's night and i'm feeling the usual, random and some indescribable feelings.

do you know,
i'm really happy for you,
but yet you hurt me again.

please do not leave me alone♥

REPEAT

first post of twenty-oh-eight! *claps*
and guess what? seven days since new year had passed. like i had already spent 7days of my twenty-oh-eight life. okay time flies like damn fast.
okay i'm freaking out again. ARGH

orientation night was the blast, better than last year orientation 2 night :X ! hahas and i really think og13 is so enthusiastic can, all of them so cute, and yes i know, i know, liangyu khangleng and julie are so excited about something. faints.
and i didn't realise that the og was like so big, but yet they are still very bonded, which is nice lah(: and that really sparked my wish of wanting to be an ogl! argh, i was originally on the way of being the ogl (of og13 somemore can) and some stupid discipline records and master had to get in the way. ARGH one of the many reason why tjc sucks. BOO~
but i'm glad i crashed orientation night, hahs even though i'm not an ogl! yeah the night was great and really make me what to do something...
i want to go clubbing when i turn 18 :D yeah, somewhere decent of course! call me along~

ok back to reality, i still have loads of holiday homeworks and tutorials hanging somewhere. the feeling is coming back yet again):
ARGH and there's something that kept bugging me. it's time i stand up for myself, and i shall speak this time! i don't want to spent the next 4-5months in misery and embarrassment, i shall do what i feel is the best for me!
hahas thanks for the advice zhaopei! yes you are so UGH-so-important!! :D you shall takecare and have fun too ok! miss you.

i shall learn to smile, i hope.
by remembering you, i will smile(:
takecare!

please do not leave me alone♥