everything's messed up

why is everything not going according to what i wanted?
i thought it will be the best day of my life.
i thought i will always remember this day.
but for some reasons, everything seemed to be going downhill. everything seemed to be going haywire.
i should not be there in the first place. strange & weird. something's not right. and that something seemed to be me. for once, i actually understood how he must have felt. i'm really sorry to have treated you unfairly in any way. it must be hard on you, for i can understood what you are going through.
i just wanted this day to be memorable, is it really that difficult to be fulfilled? why must all these incidents happen these recent weeks and caused all these unhappiness?
my dreams are dashed into million pieces.
i just hope everything will be the same again. i don't want everything to end in this way, i want a happy memory, please...

thanks to zhaopei & chunkiat for accompanying me.
thanks to adeline for listening to me, hope it doesn't add on to your burden.

i really do not understand, what is happening to us.
does the pain exist behind every truth & reality?

please do not leave me alone♥

what will become
of you & me?

Deal with problems straight up & face-to-face. Don't let a jealous friend or a sneaky pal bring you down. Instead, confront them & talk things out. True friendship isn't based on envy & greed, it's built on trust & care. Keep this in mind, it could be time for you to find a new posse.

what's my accomplishments?
nothing.
i wonder how it will all turn out...

please do not leave me alone♥

hazy future...

for goodness sake, if this freaking haze doesnt disappear in a week, i am so going to start studying environmental management, especially air pollution, instead of tourism for elective geog. what's the use of studying tourism, thinking of ways to improve tourism industry, when it is going to be affected by natural disasters like haze?
This haze has been causing me headache & eye irritation for some idiotic reasons. argh~~how i wish i could invent a super duber huge fan to blow this stupid haze away~ but come to think about it, wouldn't i blow away the nation too?? dangs~~

on second thought, doesnt the nation get the hint that the haze has been trying to tell us all long?? no, not "stop polluting the air!!", but "close school!!". yesyes that would be so much better. looking at the television screen, the PSI shows 145. does that mean that our wishes are going to be fulfilled? once the PSI reaches 150, we will be spending our time at home studying comfortably, instead of having to go to skool exhaustingly every morning and attend boring/unconducive lessons. yeah!!~~

ok enough of complaining of the haze.
i want to change my blogskin again. however, because my skill in changing blogskin isn't that great, this had resulted in me staring at the template, thinking what i should do. okayy this is really stupid. if someone with the name 'ck' is to see this, he will be telling me to ask for his help, so that he can leave his credits on my blog again. gosh i should really learn how to change blogskin and be independant..
revision has been kind of stagnant these few days, due to the fact that i'm feeling really lethargic. sometimes i just wish that god will make the night longer, so late sleepers like me will not be dead tired every single day. owell...

2 missions in my hand: studies & diet/

[jialing][pearlyn] see that ck? all of us can vouch that u promise me after one month i could take that credits off. LOL. thanks for supporting me, my fans~~
[cecilia] hey thanks alot for believing in me. i will try my best!!

define true friendship for me, wont you?

please do not leave me alone♥

fly off with you;

dangs this have been a busy weekend. & that's not because of studying. that's because graduation day is coming & we're in the mist of preparing gifts for our dearest tchers. spent 13hrs in shawn house on saturday studying a tiny bit & preparing the class video. spent our night time in shawn's playroom chit-chatting, playing, fooling around. didnt even realise it was already 10.45pm when we ended, which is freakingly late for me. reached eunos mrt with shiyun woonhwee at 11.30pm, waited for taxi for half an hour, give sy & wh ride home & reach my home at 12.30am. i thought i'll be so darn grounded for life, but luckily i appeared to be trying my utmost best to reach hm asap, hence mum forgave me( PHEW!~ ).
*note that i bolded all the timing so as to emphasize how much time i sacrificed to make the tcher's gifts :D that's shawn's dog, whisky. except for its scary eyes( it's like a white golf ball with a small black dot on it ), it's generally a nice, cute, furry dog! not only that it's very smart & will listen to what glen( shawn's bro ) said such as sit, paw, down.. isn't that amazing~~~
*note that i never mention shawn, for whisky doesnt really listen to shawn's commands.
oh ya did i mention my camera phone's 'health' is deteriotating, its camera function is weakening day by day! i mean the photo that it captured wasnt as sharp & clear as before. darn it, just when i need it to capture the last few memories we had together before we separate, haix~~

was at home the whole sunday not because of studying, BUT i was doing the class vid. argh~ i'm sacrificing so much of my precious time to do this video, you all better thank me for it.
went out with zy ade ck zp zz to study at national library today, which i proudly finish my ss essays. after which we went orchard for window-shopping & did something special at far east plaza. omg i got so many things i want to buy after o's, but my money supply is depleting at an alarming rate. gosh~ i better start saving now!!

somehow, i feel a sense of foreboding. is history gonna repeat itself again? i just hope everything will turn out all right for me.

taggs replies/~
[jialing] thanks alot, i wont be so sad animore! cheerup & you jiayou too :)
[cyan] =D
[ck] i'm not rich ok, i'm just trying to save $ for prom lehh. also the credit's gone becuz yr one month limit is over :P

am i really gonna be all right?
am i going to do fine?
why don't i feel secure?
i'm really worried...

please do not leave me alone♥